| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Was it okay that my ex used to get mad on road trips if I wasn't sitting in the passenger seat next to him? He would always choose to drive late at night and through the night to avoid traffic, and would get mad at me if I couldn't stay awake and keep him awake. (I didn't know how to drive his RV, but I could have taken turns driving his hummer). Anyway, one time we were kind of mad at each other and I just wanted to lay down in the back of the hummer, but he yelled at me and said I had to sit by him. Since I didn't, he exited off the highway and slammed on the breaks so I went crashing forward. Half the time we would have arguments on these long road trips and I didn't want to sit by him because everytime I did he just kept saying things like how he thought I didn't love him. He was a broken record, and I didn't want to have to hear the same things over and over (I did love him). Anyway, was his behavior normal? Even though I broke up with him and I'm getting over it, sometimes I'll have flashbacks to incidents like this and I feel like I'm going crazy!
View related questions:
broke up, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2007): God no. That isn't normal at all. He is so CONTROLLING. That is not love. You are SO lucky you are no longer with him.
A guy who truly loves you would tuck you in, kiss you goodnight and drive the rest of the way. A guy who truly loves you wants you to be as happy and comfortable as possible. He would never want to inconvenience you or get mad cause you are tired?? That is crazy. You are a very lucky girl that you are no longer with that jerk.
And if I were you I would be going mad at the thought of it too. Cause what happens is that in abusive, controlling relationships, they insidiously strip you of your dignity and self respect and when you look back on it, it just makes you cringe and feel dirty and weird. I know the feeling.
But with time you will get over it. It might take a while. Cause the effects of abusive relationships often linger on for a while. But just work on your self esteem and please avoid guys like him in the future.
And when you do get thoughts like that and that nightmarish feeling, you should talk to someone you trust. Sometimes getting your feelings out about the least thing you want to talk about actually helps you heal faster. IT makes you feel more supported and it makes you feel like a brave person that you were able to talk about it. And when you feel brave like that it helps you gain back your sense of dignity and respect and love for yourself.
|
