A
female
age
41-50,
*olandi
writes:Ok, here goes. I met a really great guy in November 2009 and he moved in with me a week later. It was like magic we got on very well and still do. In January he proposed and in March he told me he wants to postpone the wedding which was booked for September. I wouldnt hear of any of it and told him to then move out as by that time I had made a lot of arrangements and spent a bit of money on a few things. In April we started to talk again and we then started to see each other on week-ends only as per his request as he said that was all he could manage at the time he was very hurt and he would not move back. I admit I might have over reacted. we carried on for about 2 months to only see each other over week-ends and sometimes we would have a long week-end together like he would come from a Thursday till Monday morning and then go back to his mom.In June he decided to move back,we engaged again and all is going well except I still get the impression he not sure about us. He keeps telling me that he wants a baby with me and that he does love me but is not ready now to get married maybe next year. The reasons he has given me are the following:1 We moved too fast in the beginning2 He woke up one day and realise it might not be real, too good to be true3 His parents are divorced and he hates fighting ( We dont fight abt money just his past GF's)4 He wont rush into something that he is not 100% sure about.It ahs no been 8 months and I am so worried he is just using me??? How do I know???He keeps telling me he will marry me when he is ready?? Is he just saying that to stop me from bugging him about it?
View related questions:
divorce, engaged, money, moved in, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): Well you want to marry and he doesn't but that's probably because you have different experiences of marriage (as in seeing other ones) and you should share your views so he can see what it's like for you
A
female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (13 July 2010):
 He might just be telling you what you want to hear, not what he really feels. He refuses to give you a definite answer, but instead says 'maybe next year' and 'when I'm ready'.
What I don't understand is why he wants a baby, but not marriage. A baby is something that will bind you two together for life, while marriage can be temporary.
I think he has a lot of issues he's not telling you about, because this whole thing seems very odd. Give him one last chance to talk it out with you before deciding on anything. You deserve to be with someone that's sure they want to be with you for the rest of their life, not someone that gives excuses.
...............................
|
