A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My partner of almost two years has as three and half year old son with his ex wife. They split up when he was one and are divorced. I’ve never met her and I have to go out when she drops off her son. I have a really good relationship with him. My partner has told he he’s going to join them on holiday in Greece later this month and stay in a villa with them and his sister. He said he wants his son to see his parents together and make happy memories. Im I really wrong to be upset by this? He sees them together when they drop off and pick up and he could do days out with them at home. I know their son won’t have any memory of the nuclear family. I’ve offered to take his son on holiday with us both. I’ve asked if we could get a hotel near by so he could see them in the daytime and me. But he flatly refuses. I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable. Please help!
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 September 2022):
 I already answered your previous post about this.
Here is my answer again,
"Wish him well, OP
What he wants is to have his cake (you) and eat it too (playing happy family with his ex).
This will not stop.
His "ex wife" doesn't know about you. You have to LEAVE when she drops off her son. You are his DIRTY little secret.
Honey, want more for yourself.
Where there is nothing wrong with having an amicable relationship with your child's other parent - this is beyond that.
Just end it and wish him well. Find someone who WANTS you to be part of his life - his WHOLE life. Not just some side piece that he has to hide."
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2022): You're not being unreasonable, but you have to get a full understanding of why you're being kept a secret?
If you haven't been with your partner for long, he may have some reservations on how deeply committed he is in your relationship. As I mentioned in a previous response, a three year-old child has very limited understanding of this kind of situation; and it seems your "partner" wants you to stay away from his ex and his child.
It seems he doesn't trust you, or wants to keep his family and your relationship separate. It makes no sense.
As I asked you before, are you sure he is divorced? He may be afraid of how his "ex-wife" might react upon meeting you; and/or you've given him reason to believe you're not sincere about behaving yourself around his ex and his kid.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2022): test
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