| A
female
,
*ikki866
writes: The worst kind of liar in the world!That is my ex. I really need some feedback on this so I know how to proceed.... my heart is ripped to shreds.I posted earlier tonight. Here's the link to the whole story:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-left-me-for-a-life-on-the.htmlNow an hour later, an update that will blow everyone away! Joe called me at 8:20 from Target. Said he wanted to make sure I was "ok". I said yes, i'm doing better... he said he was glad. I took the opportunity to tell him that I thought about it and that I wanted for him to "find his path" in life, and that I would wish him well and accept things... that I was sorry for hounding him at work. I said that I didn't want him to remember me as a crying psycho. He said he didn't think that of me at all. I told him the worst part of the breakup was losing his friendship... that he was funny, easy to be around, and that I didn't want us to lose contact. He said he would like to remain friends, but that i needed to understand that we couldn't speak every day....that set off a flag.I asked him, "Joe, is there another woman?"Joe said, "No, there's no one else... but if I tell you something you are probably going to be furious with me..."I said, "tell me Joyce is moving back to florida" (the ex wife)He said, "not exactly, but Joyce called and invited me to Georgia for Thanksgiving dinner... she wants me to drive up."I said, "Are you going??"He answered, "Would it make a difference?" and with that, I hung up the telephone.For those who do not understand, Joyce called Joe 13x a day easily and left many crying, begging messages for him to go back to her over the past 3 months. He would treat her nicely on the phone, but the last few weeks was really getting tired of her calls and resorted to telling her to please stop,to find someone new, that he was happy in a relationship with me, and the reasons it would never work out. She still called. and called. She would fill his voice mailbox almost every day. He turned the phone off, even considered turning the phone in! (it was a work cell)... finally he had me carrying the phone. I would answer, she would tell me he was always carrying on with her and wouldn't leave her alone. I said Joyce, I have heard all of your messages. Joe lets me hear them. Not one of them is anything but you acknowledging that he has moved on... that you miss him and cannot accept it's over... and you want me to believe he's after you? With this she got very mad at Joe and said he's a damn liar!!! Watch him!!!!"He made sure to tell her he was going to CT with me to meet the folks, that he was moving in with me and my kids. my God... i think he was just wanting to torture her! and now, why would he tell me he is going to have thanksgiving with her??? to torture me? is he a sadist? I hung up and if he wanted to get rid of me he did it! But then he called me 3x and i wouldn't pick up the phone!Why is he calling me ???What is left to say?His comment was cruel considering he knows I am alone on thanksgiving 1 mile away from him ... we planned to spend it together before he broke up with me last week... and now he is going to drive to GA to be with her and leave me here? Why would he tell me? what gives? And why keep calling me after i hang up??? Is this a game?I'm heartbroken. please guys respond........ :(
View related questions:
at work, broke up, ex-wife, heartbroken, his ex, liar, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2006): It sounds like he is either falling for a guilt trip by his ex, seriously has no heart, is a pathological liar... Basically I think there is something wrong with this man. If you have done nothing to push him away, you and your kids do not deserve this treatment. And although I can tell you are completely heartbroken and your hopes have been somewhat dashed, I think it's for the best. You two have broken up; technically he no longer has to uphold any previous commitments to you. Do you want to be emotionally dependent on a man who will constantly hurt your feelings?
My advice would be to have a wonderful Thanksgiving, maybe with friends, family, your kids. Or if that won't work out, spend it helping others. There are so many people who are less fortunate.
I have found that when I am at my lowest, after putting a genuine smile on someone's face, nothing can go wrong. Thanksgiving is just around the corner.
Good luck 3
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2006):
The guy is divorced at least twice and is a car salesman (at heart none the less!). Thats just not a good start. Seems like he is good at breaking his word.
Then he visits your parents and makes a promise that he almost immediately breaks. I just dont see how a man with integrity does that.
I dont go in for a lot of boosterism to the questioners but in this case you *can* do a lot better. At this point you have to see, if you sort through the facts rationally, you are lucky to have this thing end now before you got in deeper and things got messier. As bad as this feels now, it would be worse a year from now with you two married, with community property and with your kids calling him daddy.
Now just to keep my streak of harsh advice intact- you deserve some of the blame too. This is your love life- not the stray animal shelter. Just because he has a pathetic story doesnt mean you have to date him. Honestly, "car salesman" should have been a warning sign from the start. And there was no reason to shack up with him so soon. He was perfectly able to maintain his own place and the fact that you accecelerated the intimacy before you were sure of his character just makes the current situation more painful .
This is not a tug of war between you and Joyce. Mentally, you have to know you should move on. Let her have him and have a Thanksgiving with your real family. You have two kids who need you to make a real celebration for them, not have to watch their mother lock herself in the bedroom and cry and scream over some loser.
...............................
|
