A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I posted in April about a situation where my athletic trainer confessed he had a crush on me and had tricked me into inappropriate situations for his sexual gratification. When I was trying to deal with the situation I was fixated on not wanting to lose my athletic scholarship and I was very afraid and was trying to make a pact with the devil. At the time Honeypie and WiseOwlE and an anonymous poster told me I was making excuses for the trainer and that he was a predator and I needed to get help instead of falling in the trap he was setting for me. I was very angry at the time and did not like the advice and was convinced nobody understood my situation. Today I am posting to tell you that you were totally 100 percent right, I was wrong, and I was too scared to admit it at the time. Things had to get worse before I saw how bad I was being played, how sick he was, and how far he was willing to go to pressure me. It got ugly, but I finally got help.To all the people who post questions, if people on here take the time to give you honest advice you should listen to it and take it seriously and be open to the chance they may see things better than you do yourself.I cannot say much because of an NDA, but I did get help from the student health center from a counselor who was like my champion and was not afraid of anyone including people way above her at the school and she made me brave when I needed it and was going to crumble. She also helped me see how some part of my background and personality set me up for this and how to be more self aware so I can protect myself. It was not a perfect ending but pretty good compared to how completely and totally hopeless it seemed to me at some low points. Thank you again to Honeypie and WiseOwlE for seeing the truth and saying how you felt and not holding back. I wish I could have been braver and smarter sooner. No matter what, you guys are really cool the way you try to help out people on here. Please keep it up for the sake of people like me.MarcusP.S. - This is not about gay versus straight which WiseOwlE pointed out at the time. I am straight but people can have the hots for whoever they want and it does not bother me. This was about a predator with power over my education and housing getting in my head and taking advantage of my trust and a desperate need for affirmation and I was so freaked out I just did not realize it for what it was. So please don't make this post about anything else.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2022): It's never my point to be a know-it-all, or try to tell people what to do. I use my life experience and love of people to try and guide those who may be heading for trouble; or in a fix, and have no clue what to do. I want to comfort those in pain or fear. I can't say I've been there and done that to everything you read here on DC, but I can say there are few stories people tell here that I myself have not been somewhat exposed to. I'll take the time and trouble to do some research about it, and I will sometimes pray on it.
Those who choose to participate as uncles or aunts here on Dear Cupid should humble ourselves and never look down on our dedicated readership. Each poster is a person just like us; but some don't appreciate straightforward responses, they want sugarcoated answers. I don't like condescending to people; but everyone is due respect and compassion. God insists on it; so as a Christian, I will follow His example and commands. If you're receptive to my advice and opinion, that's great; but for those who are not, they are welcome to ignore me or refute my advice. I don't mind. If anything I offer can't help the OP, it might help someone else. I'm not perfect, and only God deserves glory and praise. Not mankind.
You are ever so kind to go out of your way to comeback to thank us, and to give us your follow-up. It gives me great pleasure to know that, by the grace of God, I've helped somebody. Most of our readers figure it out for themselves; and you probably already know the answers before you come to DC. I consider it very smart to checkout differing opinions and perspectives about things as you did. It shows you have an open-mind, you look for answers, and you listen with great discernment and common sense.
I'm glad things worked-out in your favor, and I'm also happy serious damage wasn't done that some people would suffer for many years before they recover from it.
God's blessing and peace to you!
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 June 2022):
 I hope things keep working out for you in the best way ever! You are brave and smart. You questioned the situation, you mulled it over, and you asked for advice. And when it went to a point you could no longer handle you asked for help around you and found THAT GREAT person who did her job and who is willing to fight for you! You did good!
I'm sorry you were EVER in a position where you were taken advantage of. THAT should NEVER happen. Ever! I hope you also seek some counseling/therapy and don't give up your dreams.
And it's OK to not like the advice we give here. We are not oracles after all.
It can be that people want to hear a "specific" answer - such as it's OK (what you or someone else did) so they aren't willing to hear other viewpoints.
And sometimes people are not ready to listen to a different perspective, like yourself. Never beat yourself up for that. Obviously, some of it got through :)
I wish you the best, and I'm glad I could help even a tiny bit. Sincere hugs from me.
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