A
female
age
41-50,
*olly75
writes:Hello everybody, it's me again. I recently broke up with a guy because my gut was telling me that he wasn't emotionally available in the way that I needed. I'm actually fine with the breakup, as I deserve more, but, what happens when I thought it was the stuff that amazing relationships are made of? *sigh* I'm just wondering how people have gotten over a breakup with somebody under the following circumstances: you're both looking for a long-term relationship, you're attracted to each other, have had great sex, you enjoy each others' company, you have fun and lots to talk about whenever you see each other...BUT he doesn't see you as more than a friend now - we had such a great connection, basically. Since when do all these great things not make for a potential relationship? I don't know how to help myself move on. Scrap that, I'm already moving on, but can't seem to trust that one day I will have something meaningful and not a bunch of great potentials leading to nothing long-term. Help? Please?
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female
reader, Dolly75 +, writes (1 May 2012):
Dolly75 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you so much!
Some days it feels like the bandaid is being pulled off sloooowly, ouch. It's so challenging when I remember all the great stuff we had together, and then the good old "why?" comes to mind and I crash a bit.
Slowly, but surely...
Good luck Anon, to you, to me, to everybody who reads this and nods because they've been there, done that, and have moved on, just like we will :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2012): Hey, I can sort of empathise with what you're saying. I am struggling to move on after my last break up. Even though things weren't exactly 'right' I couldn't shake the feeling that they could be if things were different. I guess its the old 'time and a place' thing. We just gotta hope someone will come along and it'll all click. I'm just trying to get out as much as possible and meet new crowds. Get a neutral perspective and don't overthink things! Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 April 2012):
 You are still learning to move on from this break up, so just give yourself time and don't worry about what future relationships hold. Not all relationships work out the way that we want them to, unfortunately that's part of life, and yes it is hard to pick yourself up afterwards and move forward, but from your post it sounds like you are on the right track and that you are a strong minded person. So keep moving in the right direction.
As for the future, nobody can tell what it holds, but I guess you should never give up. Enjoy being single for a while and have fun but don't be scared that the same is going to happen again or you will always be paranoid. Remember other men will not be the same as your ex so just give them a chance when the time comes.
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