A
female
age
30-35,
*ig bird
writes:i need some help, ive just turned 17 and im with a guy who i love with all my heart. i have been with him for 2 1/2 years and we both lost our virginities to each other. my mum is very ill with huntingtons disease and he has supported and helped me through this very difficult time and i am grateful. our sex life has always been regular, fantastic and alot of fun. ive always been able to share everything with him and talk openly in front of him. but these last couple of weeks everything has changed! the sex has come down to a once a week thing and he just seems to act differently around me now. the affectionate guy has gone! and i want him back! ive tryed asking him if i have upset him or done something wrong but he either changes the subject or says 'no'in an unconvinsing way! i need your help guys i cant keep going through more emotional drama then i am.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2007): I'm sorry to hear that you have been through such a tough time with your Mum, and I can understand that you feel a very strong bond between yourself and the person who has been there for you; but the truth is, you are both still very young (I'm guessing he is, anyway), and your tastes are very likely to change. He may just be growing out of being with you right now, or he may feel that the relationship needs to change it's shape and be less intense.Guys aren't very good at expressing their feelings, and if you ask him what you've done wrong,he probably feels pressured, also a bit guilty, because he knows you haven't 'done' anything to deserve being hurt, but if his feelings are changing, he is powerless to make things right. It's a tough call, but that's the way love is, especially young love.My advice is for you to stop focussing on him, and your relationship with him, and concentrate more on yourself; your hobbies, your interests, your education, your family and friends. You don't have to break from him, just ease back, and give both of you some space, and a chance to breathe. If, when you read this, you think; 'but I don't have any interests except him', then that is seriously wrong, and you need to make some big changes to yourself. No one should build their whole life around another person at your age, no matter what all the pop songs tell you!Take some time out to think about the things you would really like to do - get your head away from the things you've done with him,and think for yourself; and then find out how to start. Don't worry - it will be scary at first, but it will be loads of fun!
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