A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So, I'm having some friend issues. In the past my friends have said that I become this totally distant person when I'm dating someone because I only spend time with my boyfriend. This isn't entirely true. I do admit that I tend to spend more time with a significant other than some of my friends but it's not intentional. I work full time and go to school full time as well and it's difficult trying to maintain all of my relationships all at once. I also admit that when I'm dating someone new I get really excited about them and make more room for them which I can see as being a fault. I have apologized for my past behavior even though their opinion of me may have changed I would still like to continue our friendship. If it were the case that they didn't I would hope they would come out with it and tell me how they feel but that isn't the case at all. After my most recent break up my friends were definitely there for me. I truly appreciate their concern and caring behavior during those rough times. You could even say that my most recent break up opened my eyes to the way I was behaving 9which again wasn't out of hand, but I can see how that isn't very cool.)That was about 8 months ago. I recently have started dating a friend of a friend (one of the friends that complained about my past behavior). We've been dating for 3 months now and things are going great! I have been trying desperately to maintain my friendship with the two friends that have complained about my past relationship and have been getting a lot of bull in exchange. One of them has repeatedly stood me up and shows almost zero interest in seeing me and the other continues to meet with me but will throw in a few negative remarks like "you're always so busy with Jack. Give me a call when you're not with him." when in actuality I'm always the one setting up these lunch dates! I understand the way I've acted in the past but really feel that I am being treated unfairly. To the one friend that shows no interest in me anymore I've tried messaging and sending emails and phone calls but he just doesn't care. This is very hurtful as I have considered him a best friend for the last 6 years of my life and now am being completely shunned by him with no explanation. The other friend doesn't act the same around me anymore. He's rude to me and isn't very considerate of my feelings. He's not as nice as he used to be. I know friends come and go but I'm really upset by all of this. When I've confronted them about these things they deny it but it's obvious in their actions that they don't care for me as much anymore. Do I just move on? It's completely embarrassing being shut down over and over by them. I will also state that I was never rude to them in the past like this. They may have felt as though I wasn't as present but never rude or abrasive.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou're right... thanks for the advice =)
A
male
reader, helpOut.GuY  +, writes (16 March 2011):
 im sorry to say this but you should stop being friends with them but before you do that confront them and tell them how you feel. If they are true friends they stop being such jackasses and try to patch things up. HERE TO HELP
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