A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm cutting this really short.Basically my girlfriend got very drunk and let a guy have sex with her. She didn't say no but she wasn't exactly saying yes and the cops say it isn't rape.I can't stop playing what happened through my head constantly. It upsets me very much and I love her to death. It's just killing me imagining what happened that night.Will I ever get over this? Should I just dump her? I'm just so lost and confused.It happened on Sunday morning and she called after at about six.Please help me. I just don't know what to do anymore.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): how understanding would she have been if you were motherless drunk and had sex with another girl. not understanding at all!
would she have sex with someone else each time she drank to much.
right now this is killing you, so perhaps a little time away from her will help to clear up your messed mind. trust is a sure relationship killer when it is betrayed. did she betray you? i think yes. can you live with it? only you can decide.
good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): Did she admit it to you? If she did (I could cut her some slack for being honest). I have been cheated on and if they are truly remorseful - and - assuming she was truly coerced and just a very passive girl that truly was taken advantage of. I would ask her (and you will go as well) to go to counseling to process what happened. I would also ask her if she would be willing to go on her own so that she can help create better walls and boundaries so that god forbid if it happen again (it will be a slam dunk rape and that sob) can get what he deserves a ride to jail)... good luck and hang in there - it hurts, but you know what it will make you stronger. Promise
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A
female
reader, bangbangbang  +, writes (24 April 2009):
She was honest about it right? That's a good thing. I never really got drunk so I wouldn't know how drunk you have to be to consent something you wouldn't do if you weren't like that.
Usually a girl that betrays her boyfriend once, might do it again. You have to ask yourself a few questions: Does she get drunk a lot? Do you trust her when she isn't drunk? Are you sure she loves you the same way you do? Does she take your relationship seriously? Do you picture yourself with her in the future?
If it were me, I would talk with her about it openly and if I wasn't okay with it I would ask to take a few days away from each other to sort things over.
I don't think you should just throw it all away like that, if you love her like you say you should give her another chance. But you need to let her know that all the situation is killing you and that it will take time to heal.
I really hope that you can work things out. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, pint  +, writes (24 April 2009):
my ex gave a. Bj drunk just because he said it was. Big no excuse foot this behavior
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): She just cheated on you. Nothing more and nothing less.
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