A
male
age
51-59,
*hristopher422
writes:Hello, Im a 39 yr old man that has a 26 yr old married woman pursuing me at work. We both work in departments that are next to eachother. She is very attractive and has worked for the company for some years and is known as being very flirtatious among all the men that work in the surrounding departments. Hell, even my own mother knows her, i mentioned one day that (jane d) was flirting really heavy with me and she replied " Oh that's just the way (jane d) is, dont pay no attention to it"but things have been getting a little crazy at work, she is allways around me, showing up at my department, meeting me on my lunch hour.Her flirtation has gone to flat out propositions allways done in a "cute" and "funny" way. She even jokes about how we are going to be having an affair.Now i know she is married and i should "run away as fast as i can" an i agree, as i am looking for a meaningfull relationship and not an affair with a married woman.Heres the problem....Am i over reacting? Is she just kidding around, maybe i have nothing to worry about.I feel kinda trapped, this is a game i really dont wanna be playing, but i cant see how to end it amiably without her going all "dirty harry" on me.I guess i just wanna know if im being "mind gamed" or if im on her "hit list" and how do i join the "witness relocation" program.
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affair, at work, flirt, married woman, trapped Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, christopher422 +, writes (10 June 2009):
christopher422 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hmm, well its done and over for sure, she sent me a text after i told her i was done with the whole scene and said "im not gonna lie, i do find you attractive and i dont want to make you uncomfortable...sorry" next day at work she is cold and indifferent, but i guess thats what i wanted. I think i was starting to form an attachment for her and that could have only ended in disaster..(might have something to do with the fact i havent been in a relationship in the last ten years)Strangely though, having seemingly come out the winner, I feel a little empty and dazed after the whole ordeal. Maybe neather of us won,...now that i think about it, I dont think I won at all, Im pretty sure I lost the moment i let her "start playing" this game with me. Well it could have been alot worse, at least i came out of the whole thing somewhat unscathed.
A
male
reader, christopher422 +, writes (9 June 2009):
christopher422 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, im afraid she didnt want a frog farm in the Amazon, she flat out asked me to sleep with her. It caught me off guard, my world was spinning, i gave in and told her i would. but then today i came to my senses, and told her that that wouldnt work, cause im the kinda guy that dont sleep around and i would probbably become attached and that wouldnt be a good thing..since she was married. Allso i dont like sneaking around and dodging bullets from angry husbands. well i havent heard back from her yet, she texts me alot, I hope im off the hook. Ill wait and see.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009): Since you are single and probably vulnerable to wanting a relationship, I would just be polite to her and not return her flirtations. It sounds as though you may be getting confused because you do want a relationship, just not with someone married. I wouldn't take it so seriously but maybe start dating or something and it will seem less intense in your mind.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (7 June 2009):
She sounds like she is just flirty.
I'm a married woman and have made close male friends at work, and yes I like flirting with some of them... but here's the thing.
It's just fun.
Flirting brightens up your day. It's a bit of a laugh. if I thought any of the guys I know had a crush on me then I would back off and leave them well alone.
I wouldn't have got married young if I didn't plan to always put my husband first. But that doesn't mean I can't joke about running off to Paris with the guys and girls at work.
It's not mind games, it's not malicious, she's not going to rape you.
She's just your friend who likes having fun with you and a bit of a flirt.
Be her friend and stop worrying so much. Tell her to meet you at the airport and you can run off together and start a frog farm in the Amazon and live happily ever after.
You never know, you might actually find you enjoy flirting once you relax.
Good Luck!! xx
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