A
female
age
36-40,
*inkbaby150
writes:I like two amazing guys and I dont know what to do.The first guy B, is very attractive, sweet, caring, loving, is always there when i need him and makes me the center of his world.B is also very clingy and is everything opposite of myself. The second guy N, is different then B, he is less "clingy", still very attractive, very caring, and we have very many similar things in common. B and I have been dating for about a year and I used to believe that he was the one for me...until I got more serious with N. I have known N for 6 years now and he was the guy I had always had feelings for in High School since 7th grade. We have always been good friends, but girls were always all over him so I had never bothered to tell him my feelings. Until now me and N had started to get more serious and we have been getting very close. As soon as these feelings had started, I quickly broke it off with B but I am still currently talking to both B and N. There are many things that B has that N doesnt, but there are also many qualities N has that B doesnt which makes this decision very hard. I still love B because he has always taken care of me but N is somebody who I have always had feelings for for 6 years. I can't see myself with N for the rest of my life like I could with B, but theres are some things I really just cant stand about B.. I really dont know what to do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 Sit down and make a list of all the things you like about B, and all the things you like about N. Then list all the negative things about both. Be brutally honest. Then look at the list carefully. I suspect B feels "safer" and N feels more exciting but that's just a guess because you mentioned that you can't see a life with N, but you can with B. I really comes down to what you need in a relationship. I found myself with a B once and ended up being quite bored in the long run, even though most girls would've killed to have someone that devoted. I chose my own N in the long run because he was more exciting, less predictible and kept me on my toes. It drove me nuts, but I was never bored. We have a great time today, and the sex is amazing. I sometimes miss the stability that my own B provided, but in the end, I have been much happier with the N guy. Only you can decide which one is best. If you chose to ditch both of them, which I doubt you will, it's only a matter of time before you find yourself in the same boat later on anyhow because the world is full of B-guys who would be good for us, but the N-guys who we cannot resist. Good luck.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 the answer is simple...you pick neither. If you have reached the point where you have to post here for advice and you have broken down your respective relationships with these guys into an analytical shopping list of likes/ dislikes then it means neither is really suited for you. We all like attention and it must be great to have two guys competing for your attention but at the end of the day being single and happy is better than dating and discontented.
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