A
female
age
30-35,
*asha2007
writes:Right where do I begin...A couple of months ago my brother fell into a severe depression which led to him committing suicide by standing in front of train, 2 weeks after my mum sadly became ill with a perforated bowel and had to be admitted into intensive care after having a major operation. We were told she wouldn't survive the night but hey she showed them and she began to get better over the next 3, she had fought against septicemia, but then developed a chest infection; we were told that she may be moved onto a different ward as she continued to get better, but she didn't. She passed away 2 months ago due to a hemorrhage in her lungs. This all happened as I was talking my GCSE's and I found it very hard to concentrate on my exams. I'm now living with my sister who has 6 children and is a drunk, my other sister is also a fan of the drink but I hate it as I lived with an alcoholic step-dad when my mum was still around. I'm finding it extremely hard to understand my emotions..sometimes I feel okay, others I just feel depressed and sad, in a way I feel like it cant be real. I've never met my dad and was always with my mum, she had always looked forward to seeing me get my results from my exams and I just don't know what to do with myself... I don't feel like I can cry in front of my sisters because I always had my mum to comfort me and hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay but I don't have that now.I have my boyfriend who I've been with for 2 years but I've started to doubt even if our relationship will work because ...well I don't know I'm just uncertain about everything at the moment...I just wait for whats going to happen next but I really don't want to loose him because hes the only one I can be with and be happy. I just feel scared...Has anyone else ever experience this? does it get better? Thank you :(
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female
reader, Renee okc  +, writes (8 August 2009):
I am sorry for your losses because that is alot for anyone to handle and I feel you are alone. Honey you have to turn to your friends. I suggest you get some therapy so you can all of your emotions off your chest. May I suggest you try to find a alternate family member that isn't a drunk to stay with at this point your life is what you make it because you are alone. I can understand why you feel your relationship with your boyfriend won't last but he has been there and is continuing to be there give him a chance he doesn't know what to do either. Turn whatever support system you have and try to talk to your sisters they have lost there mom to so they maybe going through some of the same emotions but just aren't saying anything to you. Please let us know how things work out because it won't be easy but you will find your place in life, it might take sometime but you will god bless.
A
female
reader, worriedgal  +, writes (8 August 2009):
Hi how you doing? Your story is amazing and I want you to know its all going to be okay, you just need to keep your chin up. I was abused when I was a child both physically and mentally, I never had to deal with alcholism though but I can understand how your world just seems like one day its fine and the next its upside down. My heart goes out to you for losing two families members but I want you to know that you really are a hero. See I believe that there are two types of people in the world..there are losers..these are the ones who have something terrible happen to them and just cant get over it, they will get depression and continue to live a miserable life, they talk about how life has been so bad to them and their days are just spent in darkness. Then there are the people who have had the same bad stuff happen to them as the losers except they choose to take it in their stride and carry on with life, move on to bigger and better things cos they know there is light at the end of the tunnel. You are a hero because so far you have managed to stay alive...I can imagine in your life so far it may have been a struggle keeping suicidal thoughts from overwhelming you but you did the right thing by hanging around. I had those same thoughts in my child hood and growing up, my abuse lasted until I was 21 and then I moved out of home. I am now 26 so its still recent for me but in the five years since my move I have gone to univeristy and am ten weeks off being a qualified school teacher, i have had loads of great jobs, have some fantastic friends am married and now in the process of starting my own family.My point to you is please continue to be a hero, find something you want to do with your life and stick to it, you will find your mind will let you get there if you only let it...you can be anything you wish to be and at the end of the day if your sad or feeling abit down..use this forum so me and others like me can give you a pick up...whenever you are feeling sad and depressed just smile...and know that no matter how bad your day is...someone out there is thinking about you...and wants you to live to see another..even if it is a total stranger...we are all here for you---Georgina
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