A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 yrs. We see eachother almost every other day since the first day we started dating. i have 1 son from a previous marriage, and he has 2 sons (living w/ him) from a previous marriage, now age 7 and 13. When we met, he was still married for about 6 months before getting legaly seperated and then moving to his mothers house. We do everything together as married couples would, spoke about getting married this coming novemeber when his divorce is final. (( after being legally seperated he never filed for divorce until just recently)). He tells me he wants to get married the day after the divorce is final. The issue i am having is that after 3 yrs, ive only met his youngest son. he comes and plays all the time w/ my son but he has NEVER brought the oldest. everytime over the 3 yrs that we have planned to do something together something has ALWAYS come up to where just he and the youngest come... that goes for just being together on a daily basis or on a holiday. i dont understand how if he plans on us getting married NEXT MONTH why i still havent met the oldest? the kid knows of me, knows my name, and knows when my BF is over here. i asked him one day " what do you plan on doing when we get married, just telling the kid suprise here is your step mother?" anyhow, what is your take on ths situation?thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): Hi, i am the poster of this thread and i want to thank you two that have replied so far for taking the time to do so.
I was thinking the same thing, that maybe the oldest wasnt wanting to accept the whole "his dad has moved on" thing and therefor maybe objected each time my BF DID try to get him down. who really knows.
but,
i do agree with the pre-wedding mean DEFINATLY!- and i will be trying to set that up.
he also stated to me that on the next holiday, no matter what, that he would bring him down. well the next holiday is halloween.. so we will definatly see.
thanks so much again!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): I agree that there is something interfering here. If he loves you and is proud of jis kids (which I imagine both are the case), then the next natural step is for him to introduce you to them. If it's been 3 years, I bet Grace's hunch about the older one being resentful is correct. But no better time to win him over than BEFORE you are married. After, and he has no say in the matter. Your BF should have realized this. I like the dinner date idea.
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