A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A bit of a dilemma, looking for some advice! First off, I love my husband and absolutely want to please him. Second off, I'm a highly submissive person by nature, in everything, not just the bedroom. Being dominant assertive is difficult for me and makes me stressed out and very uncomfortable. I've had to learn to be more assertive throughout my life because it was causing me problems with people taking advantage of me, so it's very hard for me to be dominant. My husband wants me to dominate him in bed, pretty hardcore. He actually has a very dominant nature just normally but he has told me he likes this in bed because he doesnt have to be in charge for once and I'm finding myself very turned off and stressed out.We have an excellent relationship and are open with each other and I have talked to him about this. And the funny thing, since we are both pretty adventurous, I am actually fine with certain situations and certain things where I'm less in a place of dominance and more doing things he has told me to do, even if I'm the one "in charge". If I feel like I'm still "not in charge" I can get past the feeling of being turned off. I also have a hard time saying anything if I'm uncomfortable simply because I want to make him happy. My question is for everyone, but specifically if there are any very submissive people out here with partners that want them to be dominant, what did you do? I just cant get past some of the things he wants me to do to him and the humiliation/degrading type stuff makes me feel nauseous and anxious if I'm being honest. and for the record- I haven't told him that in particular solely because I WANT to please him but I'm not sure how to get over my major turn off where what he wants is concerned. Advice appreciated! We have been married for 5 years and have a 1.5 year old little boy! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 July 2019):
 Tell him that it is a turn off for you. Do things together in bed that satisfy both. However, part of being dominant is not allowing him to decide what actions will be performed. Tie him up, blindfold him, and use his body for your own satisfaction. Just a suggestion. Perhaps you will get more into it if you are actually in charge of the situation.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2019): I was in a similar situation with my husband when out of the blue he wanted me to become dominant. What I did was tell him that I wanted him to come shoe shopping with me so he can tell me which shoes looked best on me. I wore a short skirt, mid thigh, a cute top and flats. Nothing else. We went to three shoe stores and I tried on at least two dozen pair in a very revealing way, to the shock of my husband, and to the delight of three rock hard salesmen and a few happy men who passed by us. I bought a pair but made sure that my husband saw that I did not wear my usual thong under my skirt. When we got home, I made him play shoe salesman, then I made him undress me, while I taunted him with what the real shoe salesmen were staring at! Next I told him to ravish my very naughty body to screw the idea of shoe shopping, right out of my mind! This was a great success in bed, and I gave him my dominant naughty side, then after he was so teased up, he took over and laid me three times before going to sleep! Enjoy!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2019): Im somewhat open minded in the bedroom. So my advice might sound somewhat vulgar but i think you are seeking creativity here so ill be forward. Im also submissive but because of my crazy fantasies etc always being somewhat out there, a guy dominating me hardly goes in the direction i want. Not sure how girly you are, but i found doing makeup with my partner to be bonding for me, as i used to do so with a lesbian friend in college, and degrading for him. Especially if you make him wear like chick panties etc. I let my partner do my makeup after i did his explaining what everything was used for. Gave him a stripper name and then told him everything i wanted to do sexually as we then did it. The more you practice taking charge the better you get at it. Plus, in doing things the way that i did, i opened the door for him to say more about what he wants in the future, thus encouraging him to also take a few turns being the dom. Its all about a skit that you can feel in character enough to get into from time to time.
...............................
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (10 July 2019):
There is a saying that is very true...Two personalities of the same type cannot live in the same space. They will always argue and fight.
You and your husband match up good, and he should try to make you something that you are not.
Humans...We get something good, then one day we want something else. Not even stopping to look at the consequences it has.
Regarding your husband, I would like to say help him out even for a brief moment in bed...but I also know that can backfire. I have seen people get into that character, and lose the submissive self. Now the two personalities are the same, and arguments starts, where one wants the other to go back to the way they were, and they can't. The relationship soon ends.
The old saying...Be careful what you wish for.
Let your husband know how you feel, and that you feel good and happy being who you are. If ever some day you feel the need to be dominant, he would be the first to know and experience it.
...............................
|
