A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was dating this girl for 7 months on and off but the reason why we were on and off is because of our trust issues and insecurites(mostly mine). In the beginning of the relationship, i caught her staring at this guy really really hard and it's normal to glance if u think someone is attractive but not stare. Especially, when your dating someone. So i asked her about it and she denied it for a while. It took me about an hour for me to get it out of her and she finally admitted to it. So this made me scared because if she couldnt fess up to something small, i felt she wouldnt fess up if she were to cheat or do something big. So w.e. i kept it moving and we broke up a few times because i always caught her staring at other guys and i couldnt take it because it lowered my self esteem. it made me feel as if i wasnt good enough or good looking enough to make her pay attention to me. It messed up my self esteem.. And its making me crazy now because i am so insecure. Its to the point where if she talks to another guy i get so scared because of my insecurities. I broke up with her yesterday and it was hard letting go but i had to. And today she wouldnt leave me alone and i asked her for distance. i need distance cuz i feel that if i were to have time without her it would help me regain my confidence and personality. but she wouldnt give it to me but finally she said she would give it to me to show that she would do ANYTHING for me. but my birthday is 2morro and we had plans to hang out and she was gonna take me oout on the weekend. and i no my birthday is gonna feel so dead and dull without her. but at the same time i dont wanna talk to her again on my bday cuz then it would make me asking for distance pointless.but then again i love her with all my heart. she was my first love and i dont no wut im gonna do without her. i spent all of last night crying and i NEVER cry over ANYONE!! we had so many good moments and we've both helped eachother to grow in all aspects of life and she hasnt cheated or n e thing but my insecurities were eating me up so i feel like i need distance but im not sure if that will work cuz i miss her so much!! I just want to enjoy my last year in high school but get back the once energetic, fierce, lively, and confident person i used to be. What should I do?
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broke up, confidence, insecure, self esteem Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionheyy..so i she finally confessed she cheated on me four times. im not as crazy as i thought..i guess i have to move on now..but thanks for ur advice b4!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks alot gina..i appreciate your reply!!!!! i c what your sayin and yes i no people are gonna look..its inevitable..but its just that i feel like itsnot worth staying in this relationship when my self esteem is at risk. i feel that in a relationship, your best qualities should be brought out, not your worst. i was never insecure and i am now which is why i wanted out.but ur advice gave me something to think about. thanks alot!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks alot gina..thanks alot for responding. but i already know why i feel like this. its because in the beg. of the relationship she was always looking at someone else and it made me feel unworthy and ugly since she wasnt looking at me. and since she lied about it, i felt that i couldnt trust her. so this is y im paranoyed now. but do u blame me for not being able to trust her?I feel that people have to earn their trust. and she lost it in the beg of the relationship and now its hard to get it where it was before. her lies left a scar and it hasnt healed yet which is y i feel this way.
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