A
male
age
30-35,
*oke
writes:I may have my first sexual experience with this girl that I really like (she's not a virgin). So far, from the things that I've read over the internet: I should take it slow (no rabbit humping), and include a lot of foreplay. Any tips on foreplay and does rhythm come naturally? I'm worried about the size of my man downstairs as well, but there's nothing I can do about that, so I'll see how it goes.How nervous were you with your first time? I don't want to ruin it by being too excited.
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male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (9 December 2010):
Very important. Yes it's important to please her, but make sure you please yourself at least as equally as much. How do you do that: Listen to the John Mayer song, Her Body is Wonderland. Get youself happy by making her happy. You'll hear her give a good response if you're doing it well. It's not porn. It won't be loud so look for her "ya that's it" sign.
The other important thing. Stop reading about. Just do it, then learn about. But always full rubber jacket. Good luck!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 Yes, dont ruin it by being too excited. Make sure you focus on pleasing your partner and showing her love and care, and in return she will treat you well. Don't focus so much about what YOU should get, she'll take care of that. So just kiss her, listen to her closely, if she asks you to do something do it, if she moans it means she likes it, if she's silent move on to doing something else! Go with the flow of how she likes it. But unless you are good friends and comfortable with each other it could turn awkward. So my best advice is to not have too high expectations, don't demand things, don't ask for things unless she offers, and if you don't get to do everything you wanted leave it be for another time. Don't nag!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): The best tip is to relax, have fun and use a condom!
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A
male
reader, Fragtagonal +, writes (8 December 2010):
Oh! Sounds super exciting. Listen, every single guy is insecure about his manhood. Average size is somewhere above 6 inches, so if you are a bit bigger than that you are golden. See though, a bigger....organ, can actually be painful or irritating for girl. Also, only a certain length of the "tunnel" actually has nerve endings, so at a certain point length doesn't matter anymore.
Foreplay is important, you are very right. For women you gotta take you time, and start slow. Touch and caress, don't be so quick to go for the party zones because that won't help build her up. Start kissing the neck work your way down. Constantly moving your hands; though her hair, along her back, on her butt. It doesn't matter exactly where.
Tease! Man! Tease! Just when you feel it may be time to move on from sucking face to sucking something else, take the time to rub/caress/suck/lick the area around your target.
The build-up is such a big part of a woman's arousal. Its hard to get for us guys, when its time to go its time to go, but for women, the build up is very important.
Watch her reaction to what you are doing. A sharp breath, a muscle flex, if she grabs you, or (best case scenario) moans, you know you just did something right.
For handling her downstairs, I suggest you look up some info on the internet. I don't want to get into specifics about what to do and how to do it. One important thing to remember about that area though, its not a clown car. Its not about putting a lot in, or putting it far in, its about where you put it, and how you put it there. Again, look it up somewhere else.
Its your first time, so you are gonna last like 3 seconds. Don't be embarrassed or upset, its the way things go. You'll get better. That being said, foreplay should last way longer than the actual sex. Again, girls take longer than guys to get to their peak, so you want to have her really, really, really enjoying herself before you think about getting anything for yourself. Remember start slow and build up speed, in everything.
Now the most important bit of advice I am going to give you, maybe I should have put this up at the top....
Tell her you haven't swiped your V-card yet. It may be embarrassing to admit but it can prevent plenty of issues.
First she will know to help you out a bit. She's gonna know a lot more than you do, and knowing you are new will give her the cue to help out.
Second she's gonna feel more connected that you shared the intimate detail with her, and that you are giving her your first. With women, an emotional bond can greatly increase bed time fun, which in the end helps you out.
Third, she won't have high expectations. The last thing you want is to give it your best shot, and have her be disappointed because she thought you were more experienced. If you get bad rating on opening night, your show won't be on Broadway for very long.
Have fun!
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A
male
reader, FreshPrince  +, writes (8 December 2010):
aw man speaking from experience, and not to scare ya at all, i had a terrible first experience. Fear didnt really play a major part, was quite drunk. But i dont advise using drink to calm the nerves, as with a lot of drink, it ..... can stop the man down stairs from waking up.
Anyway, yes dont rabbit hump, never good. can be uncomfortable more than anything for her. Obviously you want to please her, but yourself at the same time. Many guys orgasm quickly the first few times and often all the time. This can be worked one. Depending on the girl, position can make a big difference, obviously if its your first time you will feel indifferent to requesting positions. Many girls wont like being on top as they might feel exposed to their peer and are self conscious of their body. They might prefer a close approach.
Slow and steady definately, as the intensity increases, you can increase the pace.
Sex is not as intense as you will imagine it to be. So patience will be required, just take it easy. You ideally would like to last for as long as possible, obviously not too long or one of you will get bored. Take time with foreplay definately.
This makes it easier for you to access intercoursal entry.
Most importantly, enjoy it, and try not to think about it too much, although i know this is easier said than done. If your concentrating too hard on whats going on and making awkward faces or burying your head in the pillow, not going to be reasuring her your having a good time.This is half the battle.
Wishing you the best of luck mate.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): Everyone is different I guess. I think you should make sure this is the right woman for you before you do anything. Maybe you should have a talk to her about it. Say what you're concerned about.
If you are not one hundred percent sure she is the right one, wait until you find someone who is.
When you say you don't want to ruin it by being too excited, I think it's impossible to not be excited in a situation like that.
I hope this helps. Good luck. By the way, what is rabbit humping?
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