A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello all,So after seeing someone for five months, I initiated the "what are we" talk. When we first met we were both on the same page about wanting something long term and committed that would lead to marriage and having children. When I asked him after five months how he felt about us and where he saw things going, he said he wanted to take things slow and labelled us as being "casually exclusive." This really frustrated me as I thought we'd be moving at the same pace and he'd be as excited as I was about progressing into a relationship. Casually exclusive feels like we're just hanging out and having sex, with a relationship something he may or may not be interested in down the line - it's not good enough. Fyi, he is in his 40s and I'm in my 30s, so I'd have hoped he'd be clearer and what he wants and that he wouldn't want to waste time.I don't want to be in a situation where another five months goes by and even then he may not want to be in a relationship. We won't know if it would work unless we try, and we wouldn't be signing a contract in blood - we can check out at any time! - but unless we give it a shot, we won't know. At least that's how I see it. Essentially he wants to move at 5 mph and I want to move 20 mph :) Am I being too impatient about this and should I give him some time, or is it better to pull the plug and invest elsewhere with someone who is on the same page and pace as I am? What do you think?I don't think it's on me to investigate why he wants to go slow - sure he has his reasons. But I think it's important that we align on the pace. Reply to this Question
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