A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Good day all,Well, here is my issue. I have been married for 13 years to a wonderful man. I also have a best friend who I have been friends with for 8 years. We all are together all of the time, me and my husband and her and her husband. We are all very close. Over the past few years, there has been friendly flirting with my husband and friend but it has been in the open and just for humour. As we all know, a threesome is a mans fantasy and especially with two females. One night we were all out drinking and came back to our house. We thought "hey, lets fool around". It was nothing too much as it was just more or less teasing my husband. Almost like we weren't sure where the boundaries were. The next day, all was ok and no hurt feelings. The next time things went a bit further and we were all comfortable with it. Like I said, we are best friends and I completely trused them that this was a "just for fun" thing. Well, here is where it goes sour. New Years Eve, we all ended up home together again, quite intoxicated. Thigs got a bit more involved with us all and it came to an end....so I thought. My friend took me into her room and tucked me into bed knowing that I would most likely pass out. She said that she was getting a drink and would be right back. My husband was still out on the coach. I must have had a gut feeling about something cause I didn't pass out. Instead, I got to lay in the room listening to my husband and best friend continue where we all left off. Now, I am hurt. I was "ok" with this as long as I was involved, but feel betrayed that I was "put to bed" so they could finish. I am also confused as I kinda feel like "hey, I gave the permission, do I really have the right to be mad?" I am having such a hard time getting over this one. I have confronted my husband and he is very sorry and upset that he hurt me. I do believe him just not sure how to get the sounds out of my head to forgive him. Any suggestions?Thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): Is he sorry because he hurt you, or because you heard them? Sounds like they were trying to keep that a secret. Either way it is just wrong. Without you there it isn't him fulfilling the fantasy of a threesome. It is him fulfilling the fantasy of being with another woman. If he thought there were any possibility that you would be upset, he should have woken you to ask permission. You need to discuss this further with him. Let him know that what he did was wrong, and it can not happen again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): You two need to talk this out and both agree that the play went too far with only three of the four participating. If you two can agree and establish rules for continuing this kind of play there's not a reason that you can't continue. If not, you need to agree to stop.
The blame should be equally born by the two of you- as you didn't properly talk it out prior to playing, but you can get over this by complete communication. It sounds as if you have a good relationship, and some good freinds- don't let this one incident contaminate either of these relationships- talk it out, establish some rules (as few as you need to... but no playing apart is the first one...)
Best wishes!
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