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anonymous
writes: I have been introduced to this girl (R.Z) who is really attractive, through a friend of mine (a girl too). Afterwards, my friend told me that R.Z really had some good feelings for me and that she could be really interested in a long-term relationship. My friend (who I trust a lot) also told me that she found you as her dream guy. I was so surprised because I didn't really think that a girl could be this attracted to me, especially as she only met me for ten minutes. I also knew my friend told me about this without R.Z's knowledge; in other words, she wanted to hook me up with R.Z. Anyway, I didn't want to rush this up because I have experienced a relationship that I have screwed up by admitting to some girl that "I like her" too soon. So, I even asked my friend several times about the truth of this and her response was by saying: "every day she has a stronger feeling towards you". My relationship then went closer with R.Z (who I knew that she was crazy about me). I finally confessed to her that I like her after I really started to have great feelings towards her due to a wonderful relationship. The big shock was that she responded by saying that I am not interested and also made fun of me by trying to make me jealous in front of other people (in college). I was really shocked and mentally destroyed as I was just thinking, what the hell has just happened. I didn't know why, I never had sex with her, I never said something hurtful. I was so polite with her but I wasn't kissing her ass. The fact is now, I really HATE her but it doesn't solve anything because she made me look like a jackass, especially that I am a good looking guy and well-known in the college. I just want to know if you are in my place how would you respond to this and how can I regain my pride?Thank You
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (27 March 2005):
 Give your pride a break, sweetie, and don't sweat the small stuff. You might find this surprising, but there aren't going to be many people (besides you) who will even remember this incident in a week. Your life just isn't as important to others as it is to you - and that's not a jab at you; that's true of everyone.You were set up by your "friend" and it really doesn't have much to do with the girl, RZ, so leave her out of it. She didn't do anything except respond to your question, remember? In fact, you said that she only met you for 10 minutes. It was your supposed "friend" who kept feeding you lines about RZ being so keen on you. In your boots, I'd be wondering what was up with the friend, and why she was so keen to see you humiliated by admitting your attraction to the new girl.My suggestion for the future is to make your own mind up about girls and whether they're interested in you. Take your time. Talk to them for a while. Take weeks. Take months. Find out for yourself. (Why would you ask a third-party if RZ liked you, anyway? Why didn't you ask RZ personally in the first place?) Also learn to accept that just because you're good-looking, it doesn't mean that every girl is going to fall at your feet. There's more to being good company than being nice to look at! You need to have a sense of humour - so have fun with people and learn to laugh at your own mistakes. This would be a great time to learn to do the latter! Remember: if you take the p-ss out of your own situation, that robs other people of the chance to do it to you.Just relaaaaaax! Cut RZ some slack; she's an innocent party. Laugh off the misunderstanding and try to move on. You'll live longer if you don't waste energy worrying about the past.
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