A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I swear the guy I've been seeing for the past few months is giving me mixed signals! He acts like no guy I've ever known before. Some of the time, I'd think from the way he acted, he was only with me for sex...only we haven't actually had sex yet. On the one hand:- he's told me he really likes me- I've met all his friends quite a few times and he was worried about me liking them, not them liking me- he sounds really nervous on the phone to me although with others he's a very confident person - he likes holding my hand in public- he compliments me a lot - so much so that it makes me sound like I must be the greatest person ever lol. On the other hand:- he can go 10 days without contacting me and finally say sorry, he's been really busy- actually that's about it for the negatives lol, but it's a fairly frustrating one!So what could be going on with him? I'd think he wasn't very interested or had lost interest if he didn't keep coming back. I'm wondering if he's a) unsure about whether he likes me enoughb) unsure about my feelings for him (I haven't actually said I like him, woops!). I do show a lot of enthusiasm for seeing him and I compliment him too, but I'm bad at exposing my feelings before I'm sure about the other person.c) very inexperienced with women - could account for his nervousness and not taking things any faster. I mean, a couple of weeks ago we were kissing on his couch and my top started riding up slightly, so he pulled it back down over my skin again. I've never known a man to do that before! But I can't see how a guy in his mid 20s, very good looking, with many many female friends who like him, could possibly be so inexperienced? That would be unusual, right?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): I dont want to be to hasty to say this but it sounds like he might just not be that into you. As a general rule id say look at his actions not his words. Its easy to compliment someone and tell them you like them, but the proof of what he is saying is in his actions. Like you say, it is mixed signals, because he's saying he really likes you, but his actions of not contacting you for 10 days dont show it! The positive actions of holding your hand in public and meeting his friends are good signs, but (and I could be completely wrong here) but is it possible he just wants a girlfriend and someone to show off? Coz it just seems strange to not contact someone you really like for over a week!The best thing to do just might be to ask him why he doesnt contact you much. Once you've brought it to his attention, if he doesnt change then I would reconsider where things are going as I dont see how they will go anywhere without contact for that length of time x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): So it's early on in the relationship, right? So you don't want to be too forward and contact him prior to 10 days. I would. I'd see his response. If he is busy, his response to me would be like putting me on hold and I wouldn't take it seriously. I'd then wonder why he was busy, where is he going, what is he doing. And how do I fit into the scheme of things. You still don't know a lot about him. Or some-times we think, my move, your move, where some-times the guy is shy and you may need to make two moves while listening to the response. By chance, he doesn't think you are busy does he. He's not trying to give you space. You're not studying are you
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