A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, my name is Farnaaz and i am 19 turning 20 in Ocotber. i have been dating for 3 years and we got engaged on the 20 Februay 2010. throughout our relationship he has hurt me, lied to me and im convinced cheated even though that hasnt surfaced. i have changed dramatically into someone im not sure of. 3 and a half years ago i was in a car accident and lost my boyfriend at the time, half a year later i met Haroon and he was all i ever wanted (in looks and family he had) but he was a player back then i put up with sooo much of his rubbish and all i use to do was cry... a week after we got engaged he tells me that he doesnt want to be with me anymore, its over, he doesnt know what he was thinking and then the next monday he says he was sorry and didnt mean what he said so i accepted his apology and continued living but now i feel i fell out of love with him, i love him a lot and i cant imagine my life without him but he no longer fulfills me, completes me and never listens to me.. how should i continue this engagement
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female
reader, Sharonday  +, writes (18 March 2010):
Don't continue. Break it off. I have made the huge mistake of being with my boyfriend for 4 years. He kept leaving me which made me hugely insecure and I have gradually given up all my interests and become increasingly depressed and lost. My self esteem is at zero. Two days ago I found out he is sleeping with one of my best friends (we split 3 weeks ago and they hooked up the following night)! Don't let the relationship you are in get you to a point where you allow yourself to be treated so badly. There are lessons to be learnt. You matter so much and you have to find yourself (as do I) and love yourself enough to put this guy behind you before you end up in a situation like me. Stupid thing is he walked out 3 months ago and I let him come back because he begged me against my better judgement. Now, after latest news I can't eat, sleep or go to work. Why did I have to learn in such a hard way that you should NEVER put your happiness in someone else's hands. Think of you and love you and move forward. Find some new interests because it will only get worse. And to go on and marry this guy without him totally changing his attitude towards you will be a total disaster and you will get hurts a hundred times more than you are hurting now. Breath lots and put yoursel on a pedestal where you belong and treat yourself like a princess (a nice one) who deserves all good things and to be so very happy. Good luck. Don't let yourself get to the space that I am in where I fear for my future because I feel I have lost everything. I have to claw my way back now and I will Never NEVER put a man before me and my own happiness.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 March 2010):
 If you are very unhappy and he cannot change for the better ,there is only one way , go separate ways.
You will have to break up your engagement and set each other free.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl +, writes (18 March 2010):
 Hun, this man does not love or respect you, he treats you very badly and this will not improve when you marry, it will in fact, get worse.
I know you love him and dont want to imagine life without him, but you also feel like you have fallen out of love with him... I think the answer is clear - time to break the engagement and move on with your life.
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