A
male
age
51-59,
*oach
writes:We have been together for 8 yrs I am 36 she is 30. I met her in her adolescence, she was inexperienced sexually and willing to try anything with me. We loved each other very much. We partied constantly enjoying each other socially and off the chart sexually. At around year 6 things went to hell sexually. She stopped me from preforming oral sex on her all of a sudden, saying it tickled! She does all but blow off foreplay, "which was our favorite", she likes it fast and over quick. I am hurting terrible, i dont know what i have done to deserve this. She yells at me and makes me feel like I am a psycho because I want her attention. It doesnt have to be sexx, just her! I miss the passion and touch. What do I do?
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female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (21 September 2007):
 Uh-oh you're describing sounds like a woman who has lost interest in you, or perhaps is going through some kind of hormonal change that's affecting her sex drive. After being married to a guy for a number of years I started avoiding oral sex, and foreplay, and because he could cum rather quickly during the act of sex, and I wasn't attracted to him anymore so I didn't enjoy being intimate with him, so the quicker the better. I never wanted him to know the truth though because I knew it would hurt him. He was a nice guy, and comfortable to be around, but I didn't have any sexual attraction for him and I faked it for years. Make sure you guys rule out hormonal, or medical problems first, then consider marital or sexual counseling before you assume it's a loss of attraction. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): We can't read her mind. WHy don't you just ask her? Are you married? Maybe she wants you to pop the question, and if you haven't she may feel discouraged to let herself be open to you. There could be many reasons so I guess all you can do is ask her. Good Luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): Sadly people are usually unkind to their partners because they have not got the courage to say what is really wrong. Do you think she has feelings for another? I think you should talk to her and tell her that you have noticed that she is not happy. Tell her that you love her but would not want her to be with you if she does not reciprocate. (You do actually deserve to be with someone who really loves you, you know?) Tell her it is safe to speak. You may have to prepare to let her go but there is no point in hanging on to someone who does not want to be there. It is much more empowering to give them freedom to speak and go if they want. You may find there is another reason why this is going wrong but have to prepare yourself for anything and it is going to mean being brave. The more you grip on to her the more she will despise you. Good luck, be happy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): have you ever used a vibrator?
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