A
female
age
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*ove my man but!
writes:In had been friends with my boyfriend for 8 years and together as a couple for 2 years now. when his wife died 10 yrs ago he ran into a woman he had known in highschool she gave him a big long sob story about how her husband abused her and then threw her out and she had no where to go ( this was a month after losing his wife of 27 years)due to being so lost and heart broken and a very cary giving man he asked her come come stay with him thinking that maybe having a woman in the house would fill the heartach of losing his wife any way for the next 6 years I watched helplessly while she and her family took him to the cleaners, he allowed them to take everything and even moved her sister on to his 20 acre property, which she is still her 20 feet from our door, any way she left him 5 years ago after he had nothing left to take. now that we decided there was actually more to us than just friends and became a very happy loving couple he continues to sneak around behind my back and do favors for her and her family. I almost always find out when he has gave her things or been to house to fix things for her and and her grown kids. he tells me its because he feels sorry for them because they are not very bright people and less fortunate than most. they keep using him and taking advantage of his giving caring heart and when I get mad and tell him to stop having any and all contact with the whole bunch then he get mad ans says he wont do anymore but then sneeks around and takes calls from them and then gives into there whining and goes and helps them again and just hopes I dont find out Help!!! what do I do to put an end to this??? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): Postersorry to say this but you are fighting a losing battle. This behaviour should have ceased long ago before you came on the scene and he should commit to you. Think about it he wants to help her, you want to help him because you love him. do you not sometimes think this guy is still in love with her and wants to please her? I am so sorry if this hurts you but his actions are hurting you everytime he does this. You have 2 choices either stay and put up with this or leave them to it no help from you.
A
female
reader, love my man but! +, writes (28 March 2008):
love my man but! is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh and by the way let me add this!! we had our electic power shut off the other day and I found out afterwards it was because he gave the money for the bill to his ex and thought he could get it paid befor the power company shut off our power.This is not the first time we went without because he gave her money without my knowledge. And after only 5 years in a so called relationship with this woman and after 10 years of this woman and her adult children and sister have taken and conntuine to take from him dont you think its a little niave on his part to contuine to allow these leaches to keep sucking him dry!!!
We are putting out $2000.00 a month as it is to try and pay off all of his credit cards that total $26,000.00 in debt that she charged on on his cards. I Love him for all that he is I m just tired of paying for this woman. When she isnt as dumb as he thinks if she has been and is capible of raking him for every dime she can get.
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A
female
reader, love my man but! +, writes (28 March 2008):
love my man but! is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits not that I begrudge him helping others, I do the same ,always going the extra mile to help out those less forunate. But he made me agree to not have any contact with any of my past male friends prior to becoming his partner and he areeded that he would stay away from them . I have not had any contact with my friends but he contuines to help his ex and even bought her dinner once that I know of because she (just happened to show up at his Lodge) when he is home he doesnt answer his phone extcept for the other night she called using a different phone number and so he answered it and then when he got ready to hang up he told her he loved her. Then when I questioned him on it he said it was just an automatic response when she said it to him first , but that he did not mean it. it was only words. And instead of calling her brother inlaw who has a truck and trailer she made him go and get a load of hay for her horses and he not only hauled it for her, but paid for the hay as well. So I believe this goes way beond him just helping out his less forunate ex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): Im not sure if i agree with the top response
it sounds like these people are taking advantage of your partner you might want to tone it down a little though when you talk to him about it. tell him that they are not his responsibility and you dont mind if he helps them out from time to time but not all the time.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): He helps her and you call it sneaking around behind your back. Well, I guess it is since you have forbidden him to help her and her family. Nice. He is doing something good and you want to characterize it as them taking advantage. It sounds to me like they do need help and your husband is very caring. What is the problem? He isn't going to turn his back on these people that should be obvious by now. It sounds like he wouldn't turn his back on anyone who needs help. IMO you have a prize for a husband and don't appreciate him for who he is.
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