A
female
age
36-40,
*lexa224
writes:How does my ex feel now? I'm 26 years old and my ex is 36. He was separated from his wife when I met him, I tried not to get into anything with him because I knew he was separated- not divorced- but he convinced me it was okay, and he didn't care what anyone thought. We we together for 2 years then we broke up for 3 months because he was too possesive, and always argued with me. I realised in our 3 months apart that I missed him, loved him and wanted him back. He was still trying to get me back- so I let it happen.. So we got back together and were ever so inlove. 1 1/2 years later.. After I was head over heels inlove with him, and would openly tell him how much I loved him, I had to go away on a foreign assignment - for 6 months... I came home 2 twice during that time and he came up twice .. But when I was over ther... Things started to be different.. Its like he moved on his life without me..he even forgot my birthday.. When I came back he wasn't really exicted to see me..it really hurt..then he told me he wanted "space"... It was hard ..but I did give him space. Then he acted like I was being vindictive and for alost a year he kept me hanging on .. Telling me things like "I do love you I just need some time to finalise my divorce" that's what he said .. That he was working on his divorce procedings and couldn't give me what I needed in a relationship.. And he would say things like " I think about you wishing it was not like this.. Wishing I could hold you close" and " I do love you I just don't know how to make it work right now" ... So alll that and he even called me several times and always asked if I had someone else..but I didn't.. Still don't..becaus I really thought he just needed some time...anyway..long story short... I went to a pary and realised he was there with his "wife" .. Looking very cozy together..and when I had a moment and walked up to him he bascially said "hi" and walked away as quickly as he could.. And I walked over to him again and he said " I'm here with (wife's name) don't make a scene". Can u imagine! Well I walked off and sent him a bb saying "thanks dear that's all I wanted to know" and that was that. After a week.. I noticed he deleted me off his bbm contacts... I did not delete him because I didn't want to seem like I was hurt and upset. But after a week I did send him a text saying that he should have just told the truth..and at least I would still have respect for him. I don't want him back.. If he's mnding his marriage then good for them. But I just want to know how he feeels after claiming for so long to be "confused" and just needs time.. And still loves me blah blah.. And then caught red handed in a lie.how does he feel now.. Esp after my text.
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broke up, divorce, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, alexa224 +, writes (15 February 2011):
alexa224 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys... I guess ppl always think that the one they finally give into will now hurt them like that.. I'm not hanging on.. That is a marriage.. And had I evsisioned that this would happen.. I would have left it alone.. But he professed to love me so much for so long... And I asked him this specific question.. And denied it to the last.. Made it seem like it was sooo out of the question that he wud do that.. Hmmm I'd particularly be interested in the male opinions.. Just for an idea of the male mind I guess.. And anyone who has done this to someone before..
A
female
reader, bettyg +, writes (15 February 2011):
I feel for you. There are some men that know how to play woman really well just to get what they want. He want it his pie and eat to. Just be strong. It hurts at first because the love is there and the lies are also painful. I do wonder if wife knew what he was doing. I would of probably write a letter for the wife to read and tell her what kind of husband she had. Telling her that you were clueless because he told you lies. Just to get even with him. be strong you will be okay.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): Some people are just selfish, and I would go as far to say evil. They just use people and their emotions and don't care at all. You were great until things got better with his wife. You should have known something wasn't right when he was still only separated 3 years after you met him, but I know what its like to be love blind and too trusting.
You just gotta let it go and hope to find someone new. The longer you hang on, the harder it will be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): How does he feel? Probably fine. Probably a little hurt, upset that he has lost you, I am sure he has genuine feelings for you, but at the end of the day you weren't that important to him. He has his wife and you were just his mistress. He was probably ok the whole time with lying to you and saying whatever he needed to say to you to have you around as his plaything. And whilst playing, I am sure he really liked being with you too and had some genuine good times with you, and probably loves you in a way. But you are totally disposable to him, if you were to come in the way of him and his wife? Why is that true? If he really loved you and didn't love her, he would have left her for you, but its been a few years now and that hasn't happened. There is no reason for him to change his setup. He has everything he wants. And you actually don't have anything that you want, from a relationship. He is just someone for you to be in love with, who can only hurt you.
Basically, its the same story that has happened to countless men and women. This is also the most common outcome. Instead of putting yourself in the worst position, why not try a relationship that puts you in the best position. Give your love to someone who will give all of his love to you, and not use you. Its not a great relationship setup. You can have something much better in your life if you want it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): Judging from his history, I'd say he probably right now feels nothing but in a few weeks or months time he'll be regretting it. Why I say this: from his history it seems he can't make up his mind, bouncing back and forth between you and his wife. If he was always so sure about being with his wife he wouldn't have been so possessive of you and wanting you back after you broke up with him. So at that time he was for sure preferring you over her. But then when you went on your foreign assignment and came back and he was different - that means he then changed his mind and now preferred his wife. And it's been that way ever since. But since he has this tendency to ping pong back and forth, it won't be long til he wishes he was with you instead then he'll be regretting blowing you off like this.
Advice: stay away from him. Even if he comes back to you, it won't be for long. people who can't make up their minds are unreliable, they're not to be trusted
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A
female
reader, alexa224 +, writes (15 February 2011):
alexa224 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to be clear.. He really was separated .. We would go all over together as a couple.. Even if the separated wife was there.. But within recent times I guess there was a rekindling...he should have just been honest about it.. Why keep me there.. Promising that he still loved me and just needed time to sort out his life..
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