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The thought of the future without him scares me; we shared so much! How do I deal with this?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 April 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 April 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, *onnolly007 writes:

I ended a two year relationship with my boyfriend last September after some very troubled times of arguing. The problem is that between September and last month we have had limited contact. The this period I have been in spurts of thinking it is 'back on' to being 'off again'. It really hurts. You see, although I ended it with him, I then wished I hadn't. The thought of the future without him scares me; we shared so much. We had so much in common, I am so scared that I wont find this with another guy.

So, for the past six months, since it was 'ended, he has contacted me at sporadic intervals, for various reasons, such as wishing me a happy christmas etc, and it just makes me miss him so much. The first time, was about 2 weeks after I ended it. We met for lunch, I was hoping that we could talk to try and get back together with him. Then he said that he couldn't get back. Then he texted to say he thought he had made a mistake...it is all so evocative on my emotions. This has happened several times now....i just don't know what to do.

This has now been 4 weeks with no contact....which is now the longest. Prior to this, we have had some sort of contact, mostly via email or texts. I guess time is the greatest healer??? When friends and family ask, I just say that I am getting over it, as I guess they must be sick of hearing about it...but I am not! Any advice would be great....

View related questions: christmas, get back together, period, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2007):

Hi,I know what you are going through, i split with my husband last July after 9 years together. Eventually you will come to a point when you realise you can manage without him, having contact is probably not the best idea though as it is obviously making the healing process take longer. I know what you mean about finding the same feelings with another guy, I feel that too, but I suppose we both met this person who was special to us once so why wont we be able to find it again?!

I recommend finding some new hobbies, go out with your friends, and try not to think of him, if he wanted to sort your problems out then he would have.

Take care.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2007):

well I guess there are two answers here----one is ask him if he thinks you both made a mistake and try and get back together---or cut your losses, and start going out around other guys, and try and start dating again--the best way to forget someone is to find someone else--even though right now it may sound hard to do....

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