A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend bought me a "little black dress" for a christmas present. It redefines the word "little". It is a nice gift but it is very skimpy. It has spaghetti straps and is very,very short! He asked me to wear it for a new years party, and to a couple of clubs, and I was getting loads of looks from the men. I had to be careful the way I moved on the dancefloor so that my butt wouldn't show. I appreciate the gift because he loves the way I look in it, but I feel that it is to skimpy for me. Any advice so I don't hurt my boyfriends feelings?
View related questions:
christmas Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (21 January 2014):
 Lol This was a good laugh. The way you explained the dress and the reactions are to the tee. I would just mention that's its to short and your not wearing it out the house anymore. Lol explain its to much for going out.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 January 2014):
 Um, did he ASK you if you LIKED it BEFORE he bought it? My guess is no, so WHY not tell him, honey that black little dress you bought me was more like lingerie to my taste I thought it was super lovely that you bought it, but I don't really feel comfortable wearing out of the house, so next time, I'd love to be asked when it comes to MY clothes before you buy it.
YOU are not a Barbie doll. You are allowed to NOT want to wear what he buys.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2014): Why are you so worried about his feelings? If you bought him something he didn't like, would you want him to keep wearing it so he doesn't hurt your feelings or would you want him to tell you so he doesn't have to wear something he doesn't like anymore?Other answers gave some great advice, when you wear the dress it doesn't have to be the ONLY thing you wear. There are countless accessories you can addunder or over it if that makes you more comfortable. And if you decide you don't want to wear it at all, stop wearing it.If he asks you why you're wearing something with it, or why you're not wearing it at all, or asks you to wear it again, tell him exactly what you wrote here. Tell him you appreciate the gift and it's very nice but it's too skimpy for you. That's all you have to say. If you really want to, though it's your choice, you could offer to wear it around the house just for him.If he gets offended and tries to get you to do something you're not comfortable with, then you have a much bigger problem than this dress! He has no right to control what you wear. Not saying he will, just something to keep in mind ahead of time. Be prepared to tell him to back the hell off if you have to.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 January 2014):
 Tell him you like the way he looks at you when you are in the dress but don't feel the mechanics of keeping it in place when you are out are manageable. You could always just wear it when you are home alone with him….
"Babe, the dress is really cute but it is too skimpy for my comfort level in the clubs. I'll wear it for you at home."
Why is it you have to protect his feelings at your expense?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014): I don't see the problem. You wore it a few times and don't have to wear again if you don't like.
If he wants to know why just tell him the truth. It's not at all comfortable to wear.
He'll have no problem with that and if he does, then I'm afraid you have a bit of a controlling asshole on your hands. I mean it's all well and good being proud of your woman and wanting to show her off, but buying her a 'nothing there' dress with the sole intention of displaying her goods to other guys on a night out is a bit much.
I'm sure he won't care or thought it would make you feel good to look his version of "sexy" so if he asks just tell him it's not comfortable.
Op be careful not to let his feelings about it matter too much, a guy who will throw a hissy fit because you don't dress the way he wants is a dangerous guy. Displaying you like a piece of meat is as bad as demanding you cover up.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014): Put a tight fitting black a line skirt under neath so if it comes up it doesn't matter. You'll feel more comfortable, you could always accompany with a nice blazer or jacket or wrap
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 January 2014):
 Hurt his feelings? Since when did men become so delicate and fragile you couldn't tell them that you are an individual, a grown individual for that matter, and that since you are both grown, and an individual, not only do you have a taste of your own, you also have a right to dress how you like?
Your boyfriend must have a very fragile ego if you honestly think you'd hurt him by telling him "Thanks for the dress, darling, but it's not really my style of clothing. Appreciate the thought though!"
You try to buy your boyfriend something you know he wont like, say, a bright pink suit. Sure, he will get lots of stares, sure he might even look amazing in it. But do you think for one second he would wear it just to not hurt your feelings? And, honestly, would your feelings be hurt if he didn't?
Tell your boyfriend you don't like your ass hanging out in public, even if it looks great.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014): Not having seen the dress it's difficult to say exactly but sometimes you can accessorize effectively to change the look of an outfit,
Wearing an ultra short dress with leggings (rather than sheer tights or bare legs) can gve you that extra feeling of security.
Adding a shrug or other type of short jacket can make you feel less chilly an exposed up top.
I'm sure you look lovely in it though.
...............................
|
