A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, yeah, I'm 21 and recently met this guy who's in his mid-thirties through a friend. I really liked him (though we're just acquaintances), but I just heard my friend mention his girlfriend in conversation with someone else. This always, ALWAYS happens to me - the guys I like always end up already taken or besotted with someone else I feel sick to my stomach and so embarrassed too, I'm mad at myself for falling for him too quickly. Obviously I intend to fully get over him.I'm literally so gutted. I just moved to London, so maybe my situation will improve and I'll meet new guys, but I didn't have any friends here before I moved and right now he's the only one I knew here whom I seriously liked. I'm quite physically attractive, very friendly and do get guys hitting on me even when I'm just walking around doing my thing, but I've never once even had a serious boyfriend or been on a date as I've had family problems in the past I needed to deal with. I'm tired of being single though...Fortunately, I never made a move on him, but last time we talked I think it showed - I didn't explicitly hit on him, but was really cheerful and bubbly and I think he spotted something because he suddenly became very cold. I'm worried that he's just looking down on me now as though I like him he can be very judgmental and rational and snarky. I liked him because he was smart and competent, now I hate myself for doing so.I feel so stupid for ever liking him and am literally just crying my eyes out for being so stupid yet AGAIN I don't think (depending on a project at work) I ever have to see or talk to him again if I don't want to, but we are both in the same (although big) city so I might run into him without expecting it. We have completely different hangouts though fortunately.Please advise me, anything would be helpful. My closest friends are on holiday right now and it's hard to get in touch. I feel so lonely here in my flat in the big city. Argh.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, boo22  +, writes (23 September 2014):
 Hi hun,
Please stop beating yourself up about it !!
Its ok to like someone, and i reckon it didnt work out cos he's not the one for you. In the fullness of time you will look back on this and realise it just wasn't meant to be.
There's someone better round the corner for you, just wait and see xx
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (23 September 2014):
 As cold and 'unfeeling' as this might sound, it is truth; You never had a chance with some guy that's already taken so just tell yourself, "Get over yourself,self!" Start your adventure all over, day one,hour one, GO, now get out of your pity pool and go find a new guy to fret over. good luck
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 September 2014):
 OK when ONE person in a "friendship" has feelings for the other, it CROSSES a line - whether you tell him or not. Which makes it NOT a real friendship. Because ONE person want more.
So.. STOP hanging out with him socially. The dude was trying to be nice and you took it as he was interested (that is until you found out he has a GF)...
Be PROFESSIONAL and polite at work, but unless you HAVE to work with him, stay out of his way. Not for HIS sake but for yours. You might THINK you are good at hiding your feelings.. TRust me you are about as subtle as a bull in a china store.
Don't you have any FEMALE co-workers you can get to know? I mean you PUT yourself at risk by trying to be "friends" with males. Specially if this ALWAYS happens to you. My guess is you aren't as good at being FRIENDS with guys as you think you are. So try and make friends with some women instead.
And relax it's LONDON, there are a MILLION things to do and see. I can't imagine an easier place to meet people. I lived there for a year and went back many many times after. The place is such a melting pot of nationalities and culture. STOP sitting in your flat! Get out there. Even if it is alone.
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