A
female
age
36-40,
*rndz4life
writes:hi i am 21 yrs old i had been in a relationship with abc when i was 14 that relation lasted for 5 yrs.we got physically intimate but never had sex. but at the end i broke up with him because i was not ready to commit, we continued our friendship though( he was and he is still in love with me) he was always besides me whenever i needed him. his job was going good and he had pretty much accepted the situation and moved on .i had a second boyfriend xyz, a short tempered guy when i was 19. he was very much in love with me. i too fell for him i wanted him to know my past so i told him about my previous relation we went ahead with our relation ship got physical (not sex )but i made a big mistake i cheated on him for another guy pqr with whom i had relation for a few months and then we broke off. my xyz bf doesnt know about this and 3 yrs after a relation i want to back off i am not ready to commit may be i never thought of it because all my relations wer casual and i thought this one also to be like one .xyz made me realized how wrong i was i am very guilty i shouldnt have ruined someones life he too is upset and not able to move on, he is suffering a lot, he has started blackmailing me with my abc bf, and emotionaly abusing me i am single now n i want to be coz i realized my mistakebut can sum1 give me advise how to help him how to make him move on as my other two bfs i know its difficult but i need to doo this coz the guilt is breaking me down too much plz help me
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female
reader, frndz4life +, writes (10 March 2011):
frndz4life is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks a lot for ur kind help. i would try to follow it
A
female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (10 March 2011):
 Let me see if I got this straight. XYZ is mad because after 3 years of going out you told him you were not ready to make a commitment to him. And you know you are not ready because you cheated on him with pqr?
So he is sad and upset and is also blackmailing you about your relationship with ABC who you never even had sex with??? What on earth could he be blackmailing you about?
No matter what happened it's xyz 's job to learn how to let go and move on if it is really over. Don't let him keep you hanging on out of guilt. A clean break heals best.
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