A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey,Well I have a beautiful 7 month old baby boy named Alexander He wasn't planned, his father wanted me to have an abortion and because i couldnt we ended up breaking up... I always said to him that if wanted to walk away he could.... But he said he wanted to be a part of our sons life. But in 7 and a half months he has only seen Alexander 3 times...he's quite busy and works full time...which is why he says he hasn't been able to see Alexander regularly.About 2 weeks ago he came to visit his son for the first time in 5 months, which I thought was a real breakthrough and that it was the start of a father/son relationship for them... But since then I havnt heard from him..... I've tried texting but I don't want to seem like a stalker.. But its really upsetting me not knowing whats going on...he says he wants to be part of his life but then does nothing about it... He recently got a new gf, and he seems to manage to find time to see her regularly...but not his own son. When we do talk he puts me down quite alot...everything i say seems to be wrong though i try so hard to get things right...Also I have a fiance, who loves me and Alexander to bits, he sees Alexander as his son and is really angry about the situation with his biological father... He gets upset so i can't really talk to him about it....But I just dont know what to do beacause i havn't heard from Alexanders dad since he came to see him... I just want to know where we stand really... if he walked away i'd deal with it...But its not knowing thats hurting me so much. Its actualy making me feel really down... Any advice would be much apreciated, thank you for reading.
View related questions:
abortion, fiance, puts me down, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (13 June 2009):
 I think the whole issue of access needs to be ironed out now while your baby is very young. You don't say in your post if the father is paying you any child support for your baby. You may not want confrontation with your ex but for the stability of your future family it is important that everything is sorted out now. If there is no financial support, you should make contact with the CSA (child support agency) for advice and enforcement. As for the matter of access, you need to make contact with a mediation service specialising in family and child welfare (google national family mediation). This service can invite the father to work through the access problem with you. If this fails, then it would be possible to use the courts to identify what access arrangements are mutually acceptable. I suggest you also contact the citizens advice bureau because you may secure access to free legal advice on your particular options.
|
