A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hope someone can help... I just want an outside opinion to shed some light on things. I've been going out with my boyfriend for over 2 yrs now. It's my first relationship. We started going out just before I went to uni and it became a long distance thing. It was hard sometimes but we made it work. My 2nd yr at uni didn't go too well so I transferred back home and now I live with my boyfriend. I was reluctant at first because since going out I have drifted very far from my friends and don't have anyone close anymore. Partly due because they dislike my boyfriend. We never argued for the first yr and got on really well. Now I think the cracks are showing.My boyfriend commutes to college most days and works as well. I myself have uni to deal with and deny myself of a social life because of balancing work and my boyfriend. Aside from going to uni I spend my time at home stressing and working. From previous arguments iv tried to give him more attention but I think maybe I don't know how. It's become an ongoing thing now. Intimacy has now become an issue because I'm always stressed and don't feel I can ever relax to spend a decent amount of time with my boyfriend even tho I live with him. He himself is 23 and very mature for his age. (I'm 21) He loves and cares about me very much and doesn't want to end our relationship. ( There was a time where I thought that might be the right thing to do.)I love him very much and I want to try and get through this but I also have no self esteem whatsoever. Being stressed constantly i never feel in the mood to let my hair down. So on multiple occasions I have said I will try to change things but it hasn't worked, i just cant take the leap. I feel guilty that I can't make him happy and that now I can't prioritise him over my work. I'm starting to think maybe I should let him go because we just come back to the same argument but i desperately want another opinion. Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): The lifestyle school is forcing you into is unhealthy. If you are in a situation that is stressing you out 24/7 and causing your social life and major relationships to crumble and fall apart, you need to re- assess. Is switching to part- time student status at all an option?
If you love your boyfriend, and he clearly loves you, and consider your relationship serious and a long- term commitment, you have to do what you can to stay loyal to it.
Watching this one,
Tante Victoire
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