A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Something very strange is going on but I don't know what, my boyfriend and I have been dating for over 2 years and we live together, we hardly ever have sex and when we do its quick and boring, any way my boyfriend spent the weekend with his brother and friends and last while he was at work he works 3rd and it gets boring sometimes any how he out random asked me to send a picture of my boobs and I was shocked because he hasn't asked for one in idk how long and he knows I don't send stuff like that period. He then said that we should start doing things slow and romantic before we have sex like make out and all that like we used to awhile back he said to spice things up, in the two years we've been together we've never used condoms because he always pulls out, then he said he wanted to start using condoms because he don't wanna get me pregnant then he changed it and said he wanted to start using them because he's tired of pulling out. Well when he got home at 6am he had a condom and I asked where the rest was at and he said in his car because he'll probably give them to his brother. Idk if I'm over thinking things or what, but this is nor how my boyfriend normally acts. The condoms, being romantic before sex is so odd and new. Any idea on what's going on?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2015): Well, the change is just too sudden.
If it was gradual,I'd understand,but...I don't know,I am always overly cautious maybe,but it actually does sound like cheating to me.
Does lovemaking feel different to you?Does he act weird and strange? Does he get twitchy when you use his phone/are near it?
May not be enough on its own,but for you to ask this question it means you are worried enough.Maybe it is for a reason?Observe, look at behavioural changes and other details.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 August 2015):
 There's not enough to suggest that he cheated but I do give him credit that he's aware you both have to keep up the romance. Many guys think that because they gave up their freedom, other girls to be with you, then the reward would be passionate sex forever.
He is a bit tad clueless and needs to be told what gets you in the mood.
A bad sign is that you rarely have sex. And this is just after 2 years. Most guys his age would have it like rabbits. They don't even think if it's boring or not. Their bodies just want it.
I would check if he's totally healthy, happy and is he ready to settle down for marriage. It could be the fear towards "one woman forever" that is contributing to that "boring" attitude. To announce what needs to be done, such as sending boob pictures and being more romantic, seems like such a big deal, like there needs to be a solution to this big problem. You don't think about what to do, you just do it otherwise it feels mechanical. It has to be natural and from the heart. Something's off about him but I would not conclude it's cheating.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 August 2015):
 He is as bored as you are.
Sex is quick and boring you say.So he wants to make it LESS boring, he WANTS to switch things up - hence the "romance".
As for using condoms, well your BF is right. Pull out method is NOT a safe way to avoid pregnancies. You guys have been pretty lucky. According to some studies it is 73-90% effective for birth control, depending on the male partner's self-knowledge and self-control. BUT it ALL comes down to HOW WELL the guy KNOWS his body and can control his ejaculation. Let's say he WANTS to be able to not have to "nut up" and pull out, finish off inside you (while wearing a condom) - what is wrong in that? I can't blame him for being tired of pulling out.
The condoms being in the car.. well, that IS a little odd, but maybe he didn't want you to see what kind he had bought? Or he actually borrowed one from his brother, got one at a night club etc.
I think your BF is trying to spice things up, but is a TAD clueless....
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