A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dated a man for the past year and he still has a tattoo of his X on his chest. The boyfriend said that he will get it removed but keeps putting it off. How much longer should I put up with this? Is he still holding on to his old relationship? He says he hasn't gotten it removed because it will hurt. I have been very honest about how much it bothers me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2010): I'll say this, my love has 2 huge tattoos, each of a different womans name (from past relationships). I'll admit that I was a bit put off, but eventually I figured that either I could complain, be upset about it & lose a wonderful relationship or I could get beyond that, cherish what I HAVE WITH HIM and move forward. Needless to say, we've been married for 15 years & those tattoos DO NOT bother me :) I know he's mine! And it's that simple, if you really want to be with him and he's right for you, then no matter whose name is on him, what matters is that YOU ARE THE ONE WITH HIM.
Honestly, at your age something so small & insignificant like a tattoo should not matter, especially if he had WHEN YOU MET HIM! It was a past relationship of his, so let it be a past relationship. Focus on the present & the future you'll have with him & if you just can't get with that much, then I suggest you leave him and be with someone who's tattoo free. People these days get tattoos & to remove them is quite expensive. Sorry if I seemed a bit harsh, didn't mean too.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (2 June 2010):
 My husband had one of his first girlfriends name's tattooed on his lower belly .......... much lower.
Years later our son went to high school and made a new friend, I was amazed to realise it was her son.
She is a very respectable lady and her boy the sort you are happy to have your kids mixing with.
I have a few quiet chortles about the tattoo, I assume she was aware of it, but have never been 100% sure, just like I assume they had sex but never bothered to ask. I never thought the reason the tattoo still existed was because he was holding onto an old relationship.
He doesnt want to remove it, I should imagine it will hurt, that fact doesnt seem to bother you though. So, he can undergo some physical pain and have the scar from its removal for the rest of his life, or you can decide the past is in the past and view the tattoo as a reminder of what a silly man he was before he met you .... or not. This ball is in your court, you can force the issue or let it drop. Personally I can't see the problem.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2010): I think hes being honest and he is worried about the pain. Explain to him that it cant hurt any worse than having the original tattoo! My partner happily had my name scrawled up his arm in ink a couple of years ago. I couldnt go and watch! A few weeks ago he needed a tooth filled. I had to sit with him, while the lady dentist stroked his face to calm him and the dental nurse held his hand. Because hes terrified...of needles! Go figure. Get your man to a consultation with a laser clinic. Once they have reassured him, he probably wont be so worried. Or he could just have the tattoo covered. Try going online to find a good tattooist in your area that covers old tattoos. He may be keener to do that. I can definately understand why you dislike his tat but im sure its only still there because hes being a jessie about the pain x
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