A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i have been dating for over a year now. we recently just moved in together.but i have a problem with the relationship he has with his ex girlfriend. the only reason i know he still contacts her is because i have looked threw his telephone. i know this is a horrible and unhealthy thing to do, but sometimes it gets the best of me.see, two years ago i got out of a terrible relationship. he was my first of many things and the relationship lasted for four years. he mentally and physically abused me. he cheated on me. i had only found out by going threw his emails, myspace and phone. and i still live with that scar. so sometimes i go back to old tactics when it comes to my current boyfriend, as in spying on his phone from time to time.and every time i do, this girl seems to be around. at first, she sent him pictures of herself and told him she missed him. he would always write back that he missed her. and even once he wrote "hot damn i love you!" he went on tour with his band a while back. and he seemed to have corresponded with her more than he had done with me. once i found out that they had hung out together yet he never mentioned it to me. until finally, i came clean and admitted to him i had snooped and knew they got together. he told me they had a "special" relationship. when i told him i didnt want to be a part of their special relationship, he reassured me that he loves me, wants to marry me, wants to have babies with me and grow old with me. he told me that i probably think about her more than he does and not to worry about it.he told me he understood why i would snoop. he knew my past. he wasn’t so much as mad. he has even said that i could look threw his phone. but still, he seems secretive with it. as in, he used to leave it on the night stand when we would fall asleep but now he lives it near him on the windowsill. or he deletes all his messages from time to time. or waits until i leave the room to look at his texts. and just recently i noticed a text message she sent to him around three in the morning. she said she wished he was there sitting on her porch with her watching the rain. and he responded he really wished he was there too!i believe he is a good man. sometimes overly friendly. ive asked him to tone it down with females. and i know i have problems i need to let go from my last relationship. but what i don’t understand is even though i have told him it makes me uneasy, why would he still talk to her and what seems to me hold onto that old flame?do you think he still holds feelings for her?
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cheated on me, ex girlfriend, his ex, I love you, moved in, myspace, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): He's cheating on you! Leave him!
A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (12 December 2010):
 He is cheating on you. This isnt your fault. You dont have issues you need to get over. Leave him. You will only get hurt. If you dont believe that he is cheating then get his phone and txt his x pretending to b him. But it sounds like you know he is cheating.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): good and bad opinion
bad..it sounds like this guy achieved having two girl friends and neither girl is doing anything about it.
good..you'd be the one he'd marry and get pregnant as long as he's careful
but i dont know too much about your situation so im only going by what all you've mentioned
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