A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Last April I met this guy at my local Supermarket. We hit it of pretty good, went out on dates etc..Then a couple months later we had sex. It was'nt that great. He spoke a good game but did'nt live up to it. I was fine with the whole thing because I really liked hanging out with him. Then he stop calling, I ran in to him three weeks later at the store and asked him why no calls. He explained that he was embarrased and felt ashame bla bla bla. So I forgive him. So this past Auguest we met up again for round two..It was way better than the first. We performed some kinky acts that I didnt even know he was in to.The acts were of us doing things to each others rare, fingers, tongue and all! He enjoyed it and so did I.Weeks later, samething happend..No calls! I was so confused because everythang was great.So I went to the store and spotted him, and he didnt even say one word. He looked me dead in my face.Up until now we still don't speak. I often find my self driving across town to another supermarket. Everytime I go all the male staff looks at me funny.I think he's avoding me because of the acts we performed on each other and for the fact that I'm a customer.Do you Agree?Please give me some advice on how I should act or do when I see him is the store. I fill so uncomfortable. This is the most affordable market in town. I just want to be on nautral grounds with him for I could enjoy my food shopping.Thanks for you time! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Undisclosed  +, writes (13 January 2009):
 I'm sorry but this is going to hurt...and I'm probably going to get a lot of bad ratings for this brutally honest answer.
His behaviour isn't odd at all, it's perfectly understandable. He played you, twice. If he wanted anything more than your two intimate encounters HE WOULD AT LEAST TALK TO YOU. He has not. He is not embarrassed. He lied because he didn't want to hurt your feelings and doesn't know what else to say. If the male staff at the store look at you funny it's because he told them he's had sex with you and that he has no idea what to do when you come in.
In all likelihood he feels trapped every time you visit because he has to stay there because it's his job but he would rather avoid you if he had the choice. Again, he's obviously not interested in anything more and it couldn't be any clearer. You were curious enough to go out with him again. He was lucky and I hope the guilt is killing him right now. I'm sorry if this hurts you...
So what now?
First, realize that this guy is not a gentleman, he's a jerk and a coward. A jerk because he was all too aware of your differing expectations of the relationship yet chose to play and string you along so that he could get what he wanted from the relationship. A coward because he didn't even have a ounce of grace to patch up the psychological wound he knowingly created and has instead left you out on a limb wondering what's going? Providing you with some minimum level closure so that you can close this chapter in your life and move on to the next one is a very basic responsibility of his. Instead you are left picking up the pieces in your mind and having to patch this all together on your own. This will take far longer that it should. Even as you read this you will be in this mentality but hopefully dearcupid.org will help you quickly move out of this unfortunate fog you find yourself in.
Second, you need to get over this guy and if your mind hasn't moved on to seeing things clearly yet, send me a message. It would be my pleasure to illuminate the situation further (Reading your question really struck a cord in me. The guy has no class.)
Third, decide what your future interactions with him will be like from now. How do you want to act around him?
You could go to another store (Which I would wholeheartedly discourage - you shouldn't be inconvenienced in the least for his actions - but you're free to choose as you please)
You could go on ignoring each other from now on. Act like he, along with the male staff, don't even exist. (Bring your ipod).
You could try to patch things up by starting light conversation.
Until he grows up and learns how to treat a lady I REALLY don't think he's worth any of these options. I would prefer it if you made him simmer in discomfort every time he sees you walk through the door, a haunting reminder of his cowardly maladroitness but this is hardly the forum to be elaborating on this point.
I hope this provided some degree of insight. Please let us know how things go.
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