A
female
age
,
*ueeny63
writes:Its now been 3 weeks that my boyfriend nd I have broken up. It was a bad split up, him telling me he was blocking my calls and texts. I have been with him for 3 years, its been up and down with him. He is a correction officer that brings his job home, no he does not live with me, and I see him on weekends because he lives 1 1/2 hr away but works in my town. I survived his temperments, his working long hours, he cheated once with his son"s mother...and I forgave him. He clams up when he is upset and punishes me via his cell phone,,,by not picking up. He knows it angers me. He had recentlytaken up geting these x rated texts which he shared with his friends and me..but they had become very raunchy...I felt like he was withdrawing from me and all the inseurities that I never felt before..before I met him would come rushing up when he would not call me. I loved him because he was a solid hard working man, but he puts on this facade for people, he has no friends..well I did nag him I wanted him to be honest with me and constantly asked if he was seeing someone and he would tell me no...He has not been around to take care of me emotionally, my duaghters father passed away tragically and nothing, but I was there when his brother and father both passed away i the same week..he then accused me of flirting during the funeral..I do respect and love him..we broke up fpr 5 months. We got together after my ex passed away to talk...we got back together again...things were good then he turns cold/ he does not know how to be in a relationship I felt trapped...my time was spent in catering to this relationship and taking care of my daughter. He has not been there to support me emotionally nor spituitually and have gotten so tired and probably he has to from hearing that he is not there for me....That 3 weeks ago he has fallen off the face of the earth to me..he texted me that he was not going to answermy calls nor texts, he knows that would devestate me. He is cold and why with me, I have never asked for anything else but love, honesty,and more time....I am fed up...but now I see he is connecting with someone online and its hurt me..I know I must forget and go on..I know he expects me to call...I am tempted but will not give in...I do want to send him a letter...I felt cheated in more ways than one..I stress open communicat8ion and he shuts down...3 years...I know its for the best but I feel like I am stuck in a hole and can not get out!! I cry and pray for his call and northing...we would call each other constantly and I would of make sure I was o n the phone with him on his drive home, I took care of him like no other and he would thank and tell me that no one ever did this...but for him to shut me out so coldly...hurts so much.... help
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): If this guy is over the age of 40...he is pretty much set in his ways unless a miracle happens. It's been three years for crying out loud!! And if he hasn't got his act together in all this time, the chances of him getting it together is slim to none.
Of course you will hurt emotionally, you love him, probably more so than he loved you. I can not tell you to leave the guy--the choice is yours and yours alone. I can see if the guy was in his early 20's or something...then maybe....just maybe giving him another chance would be ok, but this guy is probably over 40. Do you really think he is going to change his ways?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): I've been in the same situation as you, and I completely understand how horrible it is and how much it hurts. How you just desperately want him to call and how he's always on your mind. All you want is for him to care.. and I understand it completely.It sounds like the both of you love each other very much, even though he may not be a great guy in a relationship. Although it sounds like he's very dominating in the relationship and perhaps thinks that he can get away with not calling you etc and being cold with you, because he knows that you love him and will get back with him etc. It also sounds like right now he's taking you for granted, especially with the person he is connecting with online.However hard it is, perhaps it would be best for you to break it off with him and stop hurting yourself. I know it's hard to just "forget and move on", but sometimes it's for the best. If that's too difficult and heart renching, then try your hardest to pretend that you're not too bothered about the situation. Like they say, "if you love them, set them free. If it's true love, then they'll come back to you." Maybe this is the case with your man. If he loves you and is worth being with, he'll try a bit harder in the future not to be so cold and silly with you. If you don't think it's like that, just speak to him about it.Good luck, sweetie :)
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