A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: hi! i need someones advice on this,, me and my partner have been together for 4 years we have an 11 month old, my boyfriend doesnt work because he has stomach problems and he smokes cannabis daily, hes 26 and im 20 , thing is i like to keep my house tidy and i do alot of housework! i feel annoyed though coz he never helps me out ,, i do all the washings dishes cleaning,, he makes out that all i do is nag at him about it.. truth is i dont want to b his mum im 20 yrs old, he should clean up after his self and help out ! after all its his mess too! and today because he done the dishes hes said he do help out! i dont know what else to say to him about this! i also asked him to take his son out for an hour as i had been out with him at soft play and wanted an hour to chill out,, he said he could and went to his friends house!! this may seem so rediculious but i cant do all of it anymore !! im 20 years old and dont want to b stuck in the house doing house work while my partner is stoned laying the playstation all day but what do i say to him to let him know how i feel? please help xxx
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (2 July 2009):
Well you've got to be honest with him. Tell him that you feel like you're doing too much housework and that it would help you out so much to do certain things. Talk about having a job list, like he takes out the trash and does the dishes while you cook for example.
And then you stick to your list for a while. Don't nag him, just watch and see what he does. If he does nothing - and I suspect he will - then in a month you have another talk. Tell him this is unacceptable and you already have a child and don't need another. Tell him that if he doesn't get himself in shape that there is another man outside waiting for his job. Tell him that he has a month to straighten out or it's over, and you will be filing for child support so he better get a job.
He has had it easy for far too long and needs a shock to the system.
Good luck.
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