A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together five years and we bought a house together three months ago. I've been working full time and studying for the last ten months. I finish my study in two months. I've been really busy and stressed. I've put on 10 pounds since I don't have time to exercise much and My sex drive has basically disappeared. I try to have sex once a week but I never much feel like it. I feel like I'm being a crappy girlfriend and I'm worried my boyfriend will lose interest. I feel like I'm withholding stuff and not giving him what he needs. He sometimes mentions our sex life isn't what it used to be but mostly he's just quiet and sweet. I feel awful. What can I do to get out of this slump? Is lack of intimacy something you would leave a partner over?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 May 2016):
 Your working and studying so I am not surprised that you are probably feeling tired and possibly stressed. My guess is that this is what is causing your problems not the relationship itself. You are finished your studies in two months, so stay focused on that. Remember your boyfriend is their to talk to, so talk to him, and tell him that you are feeling a bit tired or stressed but reassure him that you still love him, that you still want to be with him.
With you putting on weight it is probably lowering your sex drive because you may feel that you don't look good. If you have no time for exercise at the moment then the best thing to do is to watch what you are eating. A healthy diet can work wonders.
Keep trying to have sex once a week, I know you may not feel like it, but maybe introduce new things, be more romantic with each other. But also give yourself a break. If you are worried he will lose interest, then talk to him and tell him how you have been feeling. If he is as sweet as you say he is then he will listen to you and reassure you.
We don't know how he is feeling about this, therefore that is up to you to talk to him and tell him why you are the way you have been, the thing is I am sure he knows himself that you are tired from working and studying so give yourself a break and don't be to hard on yourself.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 May 2016):
 TALK to him. He might think it's HIM. That you don't find him sexy or attractive any more.
And yes, there are people who would leave if their needs aren't met. However in your case, I think if you sit him down and explain why you feel the way you do, he might understand and support you.
Also, FIND the time to exercise. It's good not only for your body, but your brain. Even if it's only going for a run/walk/swim.Maybe that is something you can do with him?
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (21 May 2016):
 I wouldn't worry too much about it. Keep the once a week routine up until you finish your studies. They are what counts now.
Then you can re focus on getting the wight off and your libedo back.
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