A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi...My boyfriend and I have been in a very long, and for the most part, very good relationship. We have been having an absolutely awful couple of weeks...both on his part and mine. Lately, I feel like he has been very selfish and inconsiderate in many ways since I started becoming stressed about leaving for my country for a couple of months (unavoidable, I need to see my family and friends). He has always been supportive and absolutely wonderful, and still is, but I can tell how stressed i have become has put a serious strain on the relationship. I don't know 1. How to stop feeling overwhelmed and sad about leaving him for a while, 2. how to stop picking small fights with him that turn into big problems and 3. how to make him more considerate and less explosive when we have a conversation.Could this stress make him less interested in me? I keep trying to surprise him in ways I think he'd like in bed but he brushes it off and says he is too tired, not in the mood, or has too much to do. Sometimes it is true...but I would never do that to him. We've always had a really healthy sex life up until this point and I feel that me even bringing it up makes it exponentially worse. It just feels bad to be turned down, or to only do things when he wants to. I thought me showing interest in him was a good thing, is it not?
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female
reader, Mrs. Melone  +, writes (18 July 2011):
In life you can choose some conflicts. The little fights you are having is because you choose to have them. Be more conscious about what you think you need to fight about. More than likely if you do not need to fight, it will not benefit the relationship, stop yourself from bringing it up. This is hard to do, but once you realize what you are doing it gets easier. Be careful of how you start a conversation, use neutral words and express your feelings. You can say "I feel frustrated that our sex life is suffering and would like to know how we can fix it". Do not wait until you are in bed and he is brushing you off to bring this up. Thinking things out a bit before you talk with him so you know what you want to say with out criticizing or putting him on the defencive will make the conflict more productive instead of destructive. To avoid him stonewalling (unresponcive) coax him in to the conversation with "we" questions "how can we fix this". Do NOT criticize, nag, or insult. Women are really good at these and all they do is make a conflict escalate. A good conflict is productive and will help improve your relationship. Telling him "I am overwhelmed about my trip and very sad at the thought of being away from you" may help to start the conversation. Men hate "we have to talk". I hope this helps you and good luck.
A
male
reader, manishxfx  +, writes (18 July 2011):
definately this stress is reducing his intrest in u,
guys don't like fightning with their gals and they hate it when gals make a argument of a conversation....in this situation ur bf will think u don't understand him a worth....& won't show but surely he will be paying less attention to u
stop fightning on tiny matters,bcause boys never like these ....& don't ever think that sex is a favour to boys...for most most of d boys it is but for few ur behaviour matters a lot then anything else.....
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A
female
reader, janice201149 +, writes (18 July 2011):
 Just as prolonged stress affects health, so too does prolonged stress affect one's sex life. In fact, loss of libido (desire) is one of the main symptoms in place for people who are under stress. But don't bother its not too late to do some thing about it. Try to talk to your partner. Do things that both of you can enjoy it.
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