A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem with my husband's hygiene. He just stinks most of the time. And I cannot stand to kiss him because he doesn't always take care of his dental hygiene. He does brush his teeth, but not as often as i think he should and I also wish he would go get professional cleanings done too. But he doesn't. Not only do i not want him kissing my mouth, but i get grossed out if i think his mouth is dirty when he kisses my body. When he tries to get close to me sometimes, i feel extremely rude when i push away and tell him he needs to shower. I try the positive reward approach, (sex after a shower or long kisses right after he brushes his teeth) but for the most time, i just do not enjoy his overall smell. He is attractive, and has a nice body, but that smell just repels me. What else it there to do, it is getting worse with time. His hygiene has improved greatly from when first met, but it seems like my standards keep going up. I'm not sure what to do. I want to be attracted to him and cuddle him at anytime, but this thing is in the way of that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): My husband was simply downright smelly. No matter how hard he tried to clean up, his breath was vile, and his skin was disgusting. It was because of his diet and lifestyle.
The thing is, I once read that if you simply don't like the smell of your partner's skin, you've got a permanent problem. It's one thing to note WHEN your partner stinks and it's another thing to note THAT your partner stinks.
If you simply have an overall aversion to him, he'll never smell good. If you are attracted to him, skorpion and fatheradvice are pointing you in the right direction; gotta be a teacher.
My boyfriend came into the relationship in POOR hygiene. I mean, like he was raised in the slums. But I'm attracted to him, and that makes all the difference. It took three years, but I taught him how to floss (his first flossing, which is the source of good breath, was with ME at 34 years old!) anyway, so he flosses every night, his teeth went from black-framed to white and fixed, and he showers like clockwork, and does all my hygiene recommendations including body hair management, scrubbing techniques, and supports my cologne recommendations; he always smells simply yummy.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (10 February 2010):
 Buy Antibacterial body wash. Dial still makes it. This will help with the overall smell problem. Make his dental appointment for him. I see that this is an ongoing effort and not a decrease in his healthy habits due to being comfortably married. I also recommend showering together. You may find more ways you can help him along. You have already settled into the role of mom/trainer in this area just keep working on him. He seems eager to please.
The most important thing is not to let the resentment build up. Either of you. Keep it light and make it fun.
FA
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A
male
reader, skorpion0081 +, writes (10 February 2010):
You shoudn't have to lower your standerds for one person. if he truly loves you he'll bend over backwards for you. I know I wasn't very clean when I met my wife but when she brought it to my attention I changed everything for her. The best advice I can give is tell him straight up how you feel. If he loves you he'll do whatever it takes to make you happy.
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