| A ,
anonymous
writes: I was with my ex boyfriend for 6 years. We broke up a year ago but we are still in regular contact. We bought a puppy together at the end of our relationship to try to mend it but obviously it didnt work! He had a problem with committment and didnt want us to live together, get married etc. The other major problem was that his mum lives with him in his house and she started to get jealous which caused arguments. Now a year on I still walk our dog and dogsit when he goes out. I have tried to move on and have been out with a couple of guys but it hasn't ever gone anywhere because I still love my ex. I have asked him if he wants to get back together but hes not interested although he says he still loves me, but is hurt that I have been with other guys since we split. I can understand this but he still wants to have sex now and again and I know I shouldn't but it's difficult to say no because I do love him and I hope maybe it'll change his mind about getting back together.Ive told him I want to stop seeing him altogether because this is screwing with my head but he says he cant have all the responsibility of the dog and needs me to help out. What should I do?
View related questions:
broke up, get back together, jealous, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2005): This guy IS screwing with your head. When I began reading your letter, I kept thinking, ah poor woman, she needs to move on. And then, when you said that "he can't have all the responsibility of the dog", I laughed. Is this guy kidding? Millions of single people have pets, and do not manipulate their ex's into staying in touch simply for doggy day care. If he can't handle the dog on his own, then first off, take the dog. Second, he probably can't handle much of anything, which should be apparent because he still needs to live with his mom. He is still a baby who can't care for himself, for his dog, or for you. I wonder what you love about him. He sounds overly needy and emotionally abusive. Enough with the dog custody, figure out which one of you will be the sole owner of the dog. If he is adamant about keeping it, he doesn't need your help in caring for the dog, he just needs to take a little responsibility. I hope that you don't fall for that cheezy line again. Let this loser pick himself up by the bootstraps and start acting like an adult. Don't let him use the dog to manipulate you into being a sporadic sexual encounter for him. On the emotional level, this guy seems to have some serious deficits. Again, don't let him manipulate you into thinking that you can change him. How old are you, do you have children? Six years is a long time, but the one year you've been hanging on is even longer. It will be hard to sever ties, but that is exactly what needs to happen if you are to ever be happy and loved the way you deserve to be. He can't give you what you want and need in this life. He can't even give that to a dog!! I'm appauled at his childish ways. Let this guy continue to be babied by his mother. Take the dog, and find another guy with whom you can have an adult relationship with. This one has conned you into taking care of him and his responsibilities for too long, without reciprocating AND without respecting you. Relationships do much better when they are based on love instead of need. Hopefully one year of this ragdoll stuff can convince you of that. Good luck.
|
