A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello I Have Been With My Boyfriend For 6 years now, we have been through a lot, at one point I sent him to jail for one month with a two year probation... I deeply and truly love him to death I never thought of any other guy besides him never even looked to me he was it the one... but since he went to jail after all the verbal and physical abuse I was scared and had no friends to turn to he cut my line with all my friends... My Brakes where bad when he was in jail and he was sapose to fix my brakes 6 months before the jail thing so i ran into and old guy friend just a friend never was more and he took me and my son to dinner he was very nice never put moves on me but he was so nice and my son loved him so he asked me if I wanted to spend the weekend with him and his friends so I said sure so we had fun we never did anything he really respected me I told hime every thing he just felt bad and said that no woman deserves that and that he seen this happen with his sisters and he felt so bad I told him how much I love my boyfriend and that I want to make it work because of my love for him the 6 years and our 2 babys, he understood. By the end of the weekend I felt lost confused and I think I may have fallen for him or just curious as to what would happen with us but I love my boyfriend and i feel bad for feeling this way.It's 8 months later I dont talk to my guy friend but he still waves to me but I cant get him out of my head i feel like crap because I'll never love anyone more then i love my boyfriend... I Think I'm feeling this way because of the past 3 years of neglect and abuse I feel so ugly and so Scared for the way I feel please help me whats wronge with me? Why Do I Feel This Way...
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female
reader, Good Girl +, writes (14 March 2009):
 Sweetie, don't say you're ugly. I can think of two boys who think you are the most beautiful woman in the universe-your sons. You need to think of them and yourself. Yes, your boyfriend is their father, but living with him while he abuses you is so not the way they need to experience life. Don't feel guilty for looking outside of your relationship. Those feelings are there to help you survive. You may just feel so strongly for your boyfriend because part of you thinks that you don't deserve any better. That is not true and it is a pattern that you need to get out of as soon as you can. If he had to go to jail because he's done something to you he has already crossed the line. Don't let your boys see a man ANY man disrespect a woman and get away- even receive love for it. They are impressionable and will carry those lessons into their relationships when they grow up. You said yourself that they liked your friend. They have instincts too. Do not be ashamed. You were right to ask for advice. Deep in your heart I bet you know what the path to take is. Try to be strong and get away from there. It will hurt, but it will hurt a lot less than the alternative. Bless You.
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