A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiI'm 21 years old and I have just came home for the break from college life. I've been single for the past 4 months and haven't spoken to my ex boyfriend since Christmas, we broke it off on Christmas Day, well I broke it off. We were together for a year and 6 months then I found out he was cheating on me. So I left him. But before Christmas, I forgave him and took him back then I relized it was a mistake. And then... Since I've been home, I texted him. I know I know, I couldn't help myself because I've always missed him since we broke up, so he picked me up that night and went to his house and made serious love. He kept telling me how much he missed me and I told him the same, and that he was very sorry. So now, my mother don't want me to be with him, she wants me to wait for him to change, but she had no idea that I was with him that night. We made love, only to realize how much we missed eachother. Will it be a mistake? If I really take him back with everyone knowing? I really don't know what to do. I've always been Inlove with him, but everyone knows how much he has put me through. I can't let him go. Is it the sex? Cause it's great sex and I am scared of having sex with other guys because I am so comfortable with him.There's this other guy who is like my age, and we pretty much like the same things and do the same things. He doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs just like me. But my ex smokes dope and it's what I hate most about him. And this other guy is a really really nice guy, like his mother and my mom are practically like bestfriends and want us to be together, because we are perfect match. And what is it with me? What's wrong with me? Why don't I want him? Because he is faithful? Nice? That he would treat me like a queen? Am I afraid of those things? I always always end up with the wrong guy who cheats on me and this guy, I know he would never hurt me. Why am I so attracted to the wrong guys?...... I have this nice guy right in front of me, and I know for a fact that he would treat me right, but why don't I want it? Why am I scared to be with him? I think I'm afraid of breaking his heart, I don't know. He is tall and handsome and way better lookin than my ex. I just don't understand myself.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2013): you are 21 years old stop thinking about all these stupid guys and enjoy your life! you don't need any man, especially not your ex, hes not someone you can have a future with, he smokes dope and cheats on you, you want him to be something he is not
as for this new guy, your mum might think hes perfect for you but you obviously don't, he maybe handsome and tall but your obviously not attracted to him, maybe its his personality your not attracted to but i would suggest dumping both of them and being happy on your own, if your able to be happy on your own youll find a man because you want him not because you feel you need him because your unhappy and lonely
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (8 April 2013):
Girls want what they can't have and indulge in the thought that the girls are actually able to change a broken man for the better. When a new decent guy comes along, they feel like they don't deserve him. In your case, good of you for dumping your ex at the time, but you never moved on since then. You could have just tried to date someone new but I guess you were too scared. And now you have become a booty call. Even if you wanted to get back with your ex, I don't think sex should be the re-introduction step. Im not saying what you are doing is wrong, but it does direct in the favor of prolong hurt and drama.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (8 April 2013):
 Maybe you need more time on your own, it takes time to get over a relationship. If your ex cheated on you and doesn't treat you the way you want to be treated then don't go back. You are setting yourself up to get hurt again.
You don't have to go out with this new guy just because he is 'perfect' if you aren't ready to date then that's fine. It will happen with time...
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