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female
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anonymous
writes: I posted a question a couple of weeks ago about how I was very attracted to my Relate counsellor. One therapist suggested I tell him about my attraction, but this is difficult as both my partner and I see him together and I'm trying to suggest a one to one session without arousing suspicion in my partner. I agree my attraction is a no-no. and I think it is lessening. but I feel the counsellor is rushing us now to end the sessions' and I was depressed and angry at the end of the last session. and will bring this up on Saturday, plus some things that both myself and partner do not agree with that he has suggested. I need to be more assertive, and air my own opinions. I am sure this will help things' but at this stage I know I will miss him when the counselling stops.
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (27 September 2006):
 When we are going through problems in one relationship we tend to see the grass is greener on the other side and tend to notice other men/women as something more than we would normally, this is due to the fact something is lacking in our current relationship at the time and that we are trying to work through, seeing and feeling the struggle at doing that.
You need to focus on the end of your therapy and work on your marriage if you are finding your still struggling then there is nothing wrong with you seeking another counsellor for just yourself to work through your problems.
Good luck :o)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2006): Are you in counselling to work on your relationship with your partner, or your attraction to the therapist?
It may be natural to feel some attraction for your therapist, because you don't experience the problems with him that go on between you and your partner, but you are right its most definitely a no-no.
You should tackle the question of why you think he is rushing to end the sessions and what it is about his suggestions that you and your partner don't agree with.
I'm sure you will miss him - or at least the support he gave, which is a large part of it, when you stop seeing him, but again, that's natural.
To come full circle to my original question: what is more important to you, your relationship with your partner, or the attraction you feel for the therapist?
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