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STDs and dating. Do I meet someone for coffee dinner ect first and then tell them a bit later?

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 April 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 April 2016)
A female Canada age 30-35, *nugglibunni writes:

So here goes,

I've had an std( herpes) since just after I turned 19. I'm 25 now. I met a man shortly after who had it as well, 4.5 yes and 2 kids later I am a single parent to both boys.

I am finally feeling in a good place to date again. I feel sad sometimes that we are not together anymore but I know it's got the best, we've been doing very well on the co-parenting front... Anyways I've mostly felt more comfortable meeting people online as I can be shy at first.

So my issue is this, do I meet someone for coffer dinner ect first and then tell them a bit later.. or do I talk to them for a bit first and then disclose this information... I am on a dating sight for this for people that have it as well but I find the pool of Peolpe on their is so selective with age and what not.

As well as my being a single parent I prefer to date men that are older as I'm not into the party everyone weekend ect. And I find most of the men on that sight to be serial daters.. and I'm not like that I'd like to connect with just one person at a time.

View related questions: herpes, shy, std

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (14 April 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntI would tell you not to rely to heavily on online dating sites, as a lot of people find it draining going through a lot of men that just want to hook up. I think you should try and get out more, maybe get a babysitter and go to a local pub, take up new hobbies or activities that allows you to meet new people.

As for having herpies, well yes it is something you should tell someone you are dating, but not on the first date. It is your business and I don't think you need to disclose it unless you are going to get intimate with someone then you should be truthful with them.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (14 April 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI don't think it's a first date kind of conversation, to be honest. I think it's something that NEEDS to be brought up BEFORE sex happens, but AFTER/DURING the conversation of exclusivity.

To avoid the serial-daters or the guys looking for casual sex - take it slow. Give yourself PLENTY of time to get to know a guy. THAT way you ca weed out the ones who are JUST looking for sex, as they will NOT have the "patience" or inclination to spend "too much" time dating before talking sex.

And I'd say EDUCATE yourself best as you can (that means talk to your doctor) on HOW to BEST avoid passing it on to a partner.

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