A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry, but this is going to be long. Ive wrote a couple of times on here and had good advice but I am still no farther foward with this guy. We have now being going together for 5 months, we live 5mins from each other. Im 19 and still at college, hes 26 and has a good job. I met this guy over a social network site and I didnt know him although we live so close. He used to inbox me and chat a bit on here, then I gave him my number. When we met I was in a relationship but it was all but over. After a month I ended the relationship with my bf as this is what this guy wanted and so did I.It was all very casual at first, saw each other a couple of nights a week he texted me everday. The only time I have ever being to his house was when his gran was in hospital as he lives with her.The thing is this relationship has not moved on from this stage. He told me at the weekend he was going to committ to this realtionship starting from this weekend as his feelings had changed for me. He tells me he "loves me" or "loves me to bits"...not sure how to take that 1 is that like loving a friend?We went out on Friday night and for the first time through the day on Sunday.I have never met his family, although he does talk to me about them and sends me pics of his baby niece. He doesnt have a good relationship with his mother or father as his grandparents brought him up but he does speak to them and sees them as they live very close too. I have briefly met a couple of his friends, although most of them dont bother with him as they are married with families.I just dont understand why he doesnt want to spend more time with me. The last 2 nights he has just being in the house doing nothing. Why cant he say to me have a look round to mine, we dont need to go out all the time and why cant he tell his family about me. He has being to my house 3 times and briefly met my parents and my friends have met him and know about him. Its very rare he makes plans to see me it just happens on the night.As I am getting to know him hes not good at showing his feelings or emotions or opens up to me.Sometimes I want to walk away from this as I know I deserve better, but I do like him. Btw hes not married or has another woman.Has anyone else being in a position like this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice guys. Too Kaicob, he was in a serious relationship and lived with this girl for a bit. He told me they just drifted apart, but I think there is more to this. We had an argument the other day and he said to me 'being made a fool of again'. But he never opens up to me. He is paranoid about me going off with someone else and I reassure him i wouldnt.
I think this guy has issues with relationships in genral and after reading an article on passive/aggresive behaviour in men and relationships it is him to a T.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2011): I think he's not sure how his family and friends will react to your age, after all technically your still a teenager and he's an adult, especially since he's living with grandparents who are often more sensitive about that sort of thing. Why don't you say I would love to meet your family or something and see how he reacts? Or maybe he's just not that serious about you :/ hope it gets better!
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (17 March 2011):
 Hmmmm, maybe he's just still finding his feet with the relationship. Some people just take longer to adapt to things like this, and it's perfectly normal to want to spend time alone.
As for making plans, take it one step at a time. Arrange to meet for coffee or a quick lunch, then build it up to other things. Do you think he's the sort of person who would like to take things slowly?? Maybe he just doesn't want to rush and end up getting hurt. Don't push your luck, you may end up losing him. Just go with the flow a bit more, he'll tell his family when he's ready
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