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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi I like this guy, but I'm not sure how to go about it. He is a good friend of my friend, (they are flatmates), but I'm not sure if he likes me back. I haven't really made much conversation with him. The thing is, me and my friend stayed over at his place, but he didn't come out from his room. Either he is really shy or he is just not bothered. I do want to speak to him a bit more, he does seem like a really nice guy but there's only so much I can do to initiate conversation. However I think I did see him around, and I didn't recognise him at first, but when this guy saw me, he looked like a deer on headlights, kinda stopped laughing and stared at me. I'm confused. Do you think it's kind of a hopeless case here and that I should move on? What do you guys think ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (26 June 2006):
 You don't mention how old / experienced you both are?
He may just be young and has not had too much experience, or he could feel that you may regard him as a bit of an 'opportunist' of he made the first move. Perhaps if you phoned the house when you know your friend is out, he may answer, and you could say something light-hearted such as 'oh, hi, shy boy! and get him laughing - you coming right out with it might be just enough to force a response out of him. Failing that, why don't you get your friend to arrange a quiet drink with a few mates a couple of times and she could perhaps say to him "you doing anything tonight, come and join us?" On a few of these occasions, you could, of course 'just be passing by' - (not on the first occasion, or he will suspect he has been 'set up' and may bolt! - and you can take it from there, just comfortably chatting as friends do...no need to even say more than a quick 'hello' and take it really slowly if you feel he is shy, just make sure that your friend does not inform him how you feel towards him as he may be so painfully shy that even if you show up he may run for it - believe me I was once this shy, and have missed out on some lovely guys as a result - it really is hell when you fancy someone and can't bring yourself to speak to them because all you can do is blush like a beetroot and feel like a fool!!
Good luck, hope you can progress with this one, as shy people are usually the most sensitive too!!
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