A
female
age
26-29,
*weetest_sin
writes:I know what I'm doing is something that's gonna end up breaking my parents heart and will lead to great consequences, but I am secretly going out with someone from my class, in school, for a little over a year now. We get along really well and he makes me happy, we're not that kind that experiment and having sex isn't what we want. We love each other's company. Our relationship is really on a mature level. We both understand the importance of school, he respects me, and vice versa. It's just sometimes I feel guilty going out with him behind my parent's back because I'm scared of what my parents will say to me, what they think of me and what they'll do. My Mother said 'We won't be in speaking terms' if she found out I'm doing something, she doesn't like. But I've never sneaked out to see my boyfriend before, we never see each other outside of school and my grades are STRAIGHT A's up to now.I just wish my parents would be more open with this subject, I REALLY want to tell them about this...but they're really strict..I wanna let them try to see that I'm mature enough to handle a relationship. I understand they don't want me to get hurt and they know what's best for me...and I thought about breaking up with him, but it's just been quite a long time and we have so many memories..I just cannot let it all go, being friends with him afterwards will be difficult and awkward...what should i do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): It doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong if you're not sneaking out, getting bad grades because of him, partaking in sexual activity that you're parents would find you too young for.. and it also sounds like this is someone who you really don't want to lose and could be with for a really, really long time. I wouldn't want to do anything to jeapordize that if i were you. Parents don't always know what's best for their children. Of course they know that their children shouldn't be drinking, smoking, doing drugs, getting too distracted to do their school work, or blah blah blah.. but they don't know everything. They don't always know their children inside and out and can't always jugde what would truely make them happy. As bad as i feel about giving you this advice, i don't think you should tell them. Parents are often so blinded by their love that they are close-minded and threatened by anything that they feel is jeapordizing their childrens' mind, even if that's really not the case. It sounds like this guy is good for you and if your parents did something to take him away from you, i think you would take a turn for the worse.. Your grades would probably even go down because you were thinking of him all day and being sad. Tell them when you think they are ready to hear it. You haven't reeeally been dating, so when you do tell them, just tell them theres a guy who you really, really like and who really, really likes you. That way they don't get their feelings hurt because you've been dating someone and didn't even tell them for over a year later.
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