A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i really need some advice.first off i'm 16, almost 17 and im in my last year at high school.im really sporty and a few months ago i started getting friendlier with my male teacher. we always have a joke and a laugh and he pays me alot of attention.hes 24, and one day when i was stopping behind for basketball practice we kissed.well one thing lead to another and pretty soon i started staying behind after school etc to have some time with him. looking back im not proud of this but we did have sex a few times.the only thing is that his girlfiend, who is also a pe teacher, found out. it was one day after school and she shouted at us both.we managed to convince her that it was just a few kisses and she promised not to say anything as long as it neve happened again.i know now that him and her are goin through a rough patch but theyre still together. i know she is angry with me and i expect her to, but shes treating me really badly.a few other teachers have noticed and asked whats going on but i just took the blame and said it was my fault.what can i do? if i admit shes being really awful to me she'll tell everybody. i cant tell my male pe teacher (who is her boyfriend and i had the affair with) because she'll get mad because we're still talking.help! thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): you have learnt very early in your short life that our actions have consequences. although your teacher betrayed a relationship of trust, so did you, you knew that he had a g/f, yet you deliberatly had sex with him. you became the OW in his life.
of course his g.f is angry at you, imagine what she will do when she finds out that you "consentually" had sex with her b/f a few times. although she is wrong to treat you like dirt, what did you expect? you were an active participant in this messy situation, although you are only 16. you knew at that time what you were doing, and you enjoyed it.
as for your teacher, he over stepped the line. he knew that perhaps you were at an impressionable age and he took advantage over you? You now need to confess to either the head or a counsellor of your deeds together. you also need to realise that you were not his first minor, and will certainly not be his last as well. he will prey on other starry eyed shoolgirl, meaning he will continue to have sex with other girls as well. he needs to be stopped. NOW.
THE g/f must stop tormenting you and she too has to account for her actions. do you not see what you have done? dis you not think about this woman when you were flirting, having sex with HER MAN. You may think that i am being harsh with you although you are so young. But you were a willing participant, maybe a little innocent, but you knew the consequences of being caught, becuase you knew what you were doing was wrong.
You are a child, you played an adult game, you cheated with your teacher on his g/f, for goodness sake accept some responsibility for your actions. We all cry wolf when things do not go our way, we then remember that we are just "children" when we mess with adult lives.
Society is very quick to blame adults ( although in most cases it is true) but sometimes little females like you, test the grounds and see how far you can go. Little girls also cause so much harm and destruction then claim that they were sooooooo innicent and knew not what they were doing.
I do feel sorry for you but i also want you to account for your actions. BOTH YOU AND YOUR TEACHER WAS AT FAULT. WELL THE G/F IS AT FAULT FOR LOVING SUCH A LOWLIFE ASS OF A B/F. She just doesn't see it. YOUR TEACHER IS A PAEDO IN THE MAKING, GROOMING AND ABUSING GIRLS.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): I would concentrate on the real reason you are at school which is to learn subjects that may help you in later life. Perhaps you should also 'learn' that your relationship with a teacher will have consequences that will humiliate you, your family, his family, other parents and pupils and it has the potential to get into the newspapers... if it gets out. This guy will lose his job (maybe he should quite honestly) and if it does get into the newspapers remember that these days the amount of networking sites and 'history' that is available through google and the internet means you would never ever get away from the 'story' for years to come. That could affect your life in the future in terms of relationships and work prospects. People are judgmental whether you like it or not. Stop stirring up trouble and realise the severity of the situation and fast. Your relationship with a teacher was a big mistake for both of you - very big. Take responsibility for that. You were grown up enough to have sex so be grown up enough to walk away and stay away. Just get on with being a pupil.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (3 April 2009):
 He's in massive breach of trust and if he has done this to you he will do it again. This man should not be a teacher!
Tell the head teacher, and your parents! This should never have happened! It is not your fault he should have known better than to have slept with a student.
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A
female
reader, jessica04  +, writes (3 April 2009):
 Here's the deal, they're both abusing you to some degree.
He had sex with a minor student, which can get him fired, possibly even imprisoned. Whether you like it or not, he made the decision to break the law. You have no reason to protect him, especially since I'm fairly certain he won't be marrying you once you graduate or anything. It just never seems to work out like that.
She is taking out her agression for a failing relationship on you. You should tell another teacher or a school administrator. There is no reason that he should prey upon you and have sex with you, and then let you take the brunt of the abuse from her.
If other teachers are noticing, then it's pretty bad. Tell them you just kissed him, or the whole truth, whatever, but you have rights as a minor in the care of the school, and you deserve to be protected from her, and him.
They both made the decision to stay together, and it's not working out. But she has no right to treat you this way, no matter what you did with him. She should be mad at him, not you. And you should be upset with both of them.
Stick up for yourself and go tell someone who can bring them both in and set them straight. Yes, he will most likely be fired, even tried. and depending on the extent of her verbal abuse, she might also be fired, or at least moved to a different school so she is not around you. But honestly, they made their own beds and now they have to sleep in them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): Well you're not going to get out of this one easily. She can threaten to tell everyone, but you can also threaten to tell everyone that your teacher had sex with a minor.Who can say what will happen? I think you need to drop this, let her feelings cool off and try to move on. If things get heated you should tell your parents everything and ask them to move you to another school. It's an extreme measure but you did something pretty stupid.I hope for your sake it doesn't blow up!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): If this is a legitimate question, then I'll respond. I'm unclear about what your problem is. The only challenge I see is stigma. You're afraid of the perceptions and reactions of others. If that's the case, you really don't have anything to do. Could you be bragging?On another and more significant note, your teacher can be pinned with statutory rape and that is likely the thought on all the minds of anyone in this matter whom is over the age of 18. Might want to Wikipedia that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): I can't believe she's still with this guy, he didn't just cheat but with a student! Personally if I was you, I would tell the other teachers how awful she's being towards you. She won't tell on you and him, because if she's still with him then she won't want him to get fired. If she does tell, so what?? That guy shouldn't be working in a high school if he can't keep his hands to himself.
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (3 April 2009):
 First off, i know I'm skeptical but i wonder why you feel you have to clarify your age, it says you're 13-15 but you say you're 16 going on 17? Either way, the age doesn't matter, your teacher has performed an act of gross misconduct and you should stay as far away from him as possible if you are as old as you say you are. You may be of legal age but there are so many consequence that can arise for both you and him and his career here let alone his relationship - you are treading on very thin ice. If you are the age the column shows then you really DO have to stay away from this man as it is sexual molestation whether you agreed to it or not and this needs to be sorted out with someone you trust. Please seek some advice from a close relative or someone you trust that you can talk to that knows the situation and may be able to help you further. It think you seriously do need to stay away from this man now though, if you're old enough to be having sex with him, you need to nip this in the bud before you cause yourself a world of trouble. I'm not having a go, i just think you aught to look out for yourself, he has a gf and you need to let that be.
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