A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I have been with my wife for almost 4 years. We got married last year and are quickly approaching our one year anniversary. Before we got married we would have sex on a daily basis and sometimes twice a day! We would do it everywhere we could (including on the hood of my car in the rain!). Since we have been married sex has become an afterthought and we are lucky to do it once a week. It's almost always in the bedroom and usually right before we go to sleep or if it's a weekend then most likely in the morning. I really want to re-spark our sexual drive and get back what we had when we were dating. How can I encourage a more sexual appetite for my wife? When we dated we talked about exploring our sexual wants and desires and would buy sex toys, karma sutra books, and different types of gels and oils to enhance the experience. Now all that stuff just sits there collecting dust. What can I do? I need some help!! Thanks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): It really is totally natural for sex to slow down after a while in any relationship, and perhaps marriage makes this happens faster since there's an unspoken feeling of "well we don't really need to try anymore". Communication really is the key in any relationship issue. Talk to her about it, even if it's embarrassing. Also, consider the fact that she may have some personal issue that affects the matter - it might not simply be a case of you not 'doing it' for her anymore. Get those books and toys out, although try not to be too contrived about it. Maybe sharing your fantasies with each other will help too - even enacting those fantasies. I sincerely hope you work it out x
A
female
reader, floraltemptaions  +, writes (12 June 2007):
I agree with the Yummy Mummy advice... and wanted to add my 2cents.Realize that maybe pressures in life have changed also. Not that she doesn't want to get intimate... but there are other more pressing issues on the brain. Sometimes when people get busy/ are stressed or don't spend a lot of time together... you forget just how good it feels... and for us women... when we get out of the habit, it's hard to get back into it.... as the more we have it, the more we want it... and the less we have it, the less we desire it. Try some romance... but don't pressure her... it will just make her feel worse. Maybe come home with a new toy, or one of the tingly lubes... and see if she's game?Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (12 June 2007):
 Me and my partner are currently going through something a little similar as I'm pregnant. My sex drive has taken a little dive and it does cause issues.
What does your wife think or feel about it? Maybe one night when you are both in bed you should pull the old karma sutra books out and see if it sparks anything. Or offer your wife a back massage and see where it goes.
I try so hard to be in the mood for my partner as it isnt fair I've just dropped out of the sex orbit. But we sat down and talked about it and things seemed so much better after as the pressure I had been putting myself under lifted.
xxxxx
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A
female
reader, laydee talk +, writes (12 June 2007):
i think that you should women after a while dont reli want to do it every single night because the fun wil stop......if you do just d it once week then make it specail wen u do do it that one time
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