A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi .If you just broke up with lover who is also your best friend and he wants you both to remain best friends what should you do?Is it harmful for u both to be best friends?or can you both stay away for a while and then later be best friends again
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 March 2017):
 Personally I wouldn't be friends with someone if I had feelings for them because I know deep down I would be the one to get hurt. It is a very hard transition to go from a relationship to a friendship. Ask yourself these questions:
Are you comfortable with him talking about other women and dates to you?
Would you be okay with him dating a friend?
Are you fully over him?
Do you see him as more than a friend?
If you answer yes to any off these then no don't be friends until you heal.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2017): You don't say whether you are the person who has ended the relationship, or the person who has been dumped.The answer to your question really depends on what you want and which person you are:The person who initiated the breakup. This person no longer wants a romantic relationship and is therefore OK with being "just friends". They no longer have a romantic emotional attachment to their ex, and so they can deal with being just friends. They may also feel guilty that they have ended the relationship, and hope that by offering to remain as "best friends" they are being kind to their ex. The person who has been dumped. This person still wants a romantic relationship, so is not in an emotional position to be "just friends" - it would be extremely difficult (if not impossible) for them to stay as friends without any romantic expectations. This person needs to recover from the breakup and the loss of the romantic relationship, and the only sure way they can do this is to cut ties with the other person completely - no contact at all. If they remain as "just friends" then they will live in perpetual hope that the person who ended the relationship will change their minds and want them back. So to be kind to themselves, they need to move on and cut contact.Eventually, in time the two people my be able to be friends again. But it is unlikely that they will ever be best friends in the way that they were while they were in the original romantic relationship.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (12 March 2017):
 There is no right or wrong to this. Whatever feels appropriate.
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